I was looking for a conversation in person - celebrating those we’ve lost.
Background, I lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly 7 weeks ago, I’m only 27 and an only child, I’m very indépendant but have taken on all responsibilities since she sadly passed and I just want to meet like minded people that would like to cheers to those sadly no longer here and talk about the future they would all want us to have, because I’m holding onto that really hard and it would be nice to share in a positive way
I will talk to you my friend ,I lost my darling wife just 3 weeks ago ,the light of my life ,I am dead without her. Ring me [edited by moderator] Michael.
Hey I lost my mum in February, I’m 23 and have been finding it very difficult too, where are you based so we can meet? I could really use a chat with someone that is experiencing similar feeling.
Hi good morning if you are talking to me I am in Essex not far from Southend,I too am finding it very hard to come to terms with losing my dear wife only 4 weeks ago.I will leave it up to you then if you want to meet to chat ,private message would be better. Michael.
@Sophiaa27 I’m sorry you’re mum has passed. Losing a parent is extremely difficult, especially when it’s so sudden/unexpected as we don’t have time to prepare/come to terms with it. We lost dad unexpectedly within 2 days which I just couldn’t grasp at all…like how could he be here one day then suddenly be in hospital the next and for only 2 days. Its been 4mths for me and I think it gets more difficult the longer we’re without them. I was on autopilot after it happened, helping arrange the funeral with a family friend, the financial side of things, so it kept my mind occupied/busy but now it’s just a hectic roller-coaster I’m on. Do you still have your other parent here if you don’t mind me asking? And do you have good friends around you for support because being an only child must be hard in these circumstances? It’s a nice thing you want to meet up with like minded people x
Thank you for your kind words and recognition, it’s been very difficult taking what feels like sole responsibility. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad is still here, of sorts. He’s always struggled with alcohol addiction and this is another accelerant, for sure. I think I might still be on auto pilot which worries me, I’m scared to stop x
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. It’s such early days and I can imagine you’re going through a lot right now. My thoughts are with you, and I’m here
@Sophiaa27 thankyou. And I’m sorry to hear your dad’s not been great. It is scary going from autopilot to “reality” setting in I’m not going to lie. It’s been 4mths since dad and the days after autopilot are extremely tough but we can only take it day by day. I’m keeping myself busy which is a massive help but please please, if there’s one bit of advice I can give to you, it’s to allow your emotions to surface, don’t try to suppress them, feel what you feel, let it all out…it’s okay to constantly cry none stop, it’s okay to feel irritable, angry and down…feel what you need to feel and allow yourself the time to grieve. I’m here if yiy wanna chat on messages x
Hi @steffi88am21 , I hope you’re well. I have been thinking a lot about your last message and I can recognise that I am emotionally reluctant to allow myself to feel sad, angry and irritable. In private I am SO SO angry, angry at everything, every situation, every consequence, angry for my dad, for my grandparents, for me. I’m quite sure I’ve pushed myself too much too soon (which is in my character to do so outside of grief) but being truly positive isn’t about faking it, it’s about knowing where you’re at and where you’re going. I need to address my anger and frustration in healthier ways than I am currently in order to move forward but just telling someone that makes me feel a little lighter, so thank you x
@Sophiaa27 Hi, not really, I’ve been up and down, I had a really bad weekend a couple of weeks ago but that’s because it was one of the “firsts” milestones without dad so I was all emotions, I’m just finding it all difficult, especially in the run up to Christmas and it being the first without dad.
Atm you’re going through the anger stage of grief so it’s understandable that other emotions are surfacing. Anger is an emotion so at least you’re allowing yourself to feel that one. Everyone is different in letting their emotions show. No two grief journeys are the same so it’s whatever works best for you. If you don’t cry, that’s fine. If you don’t feel sad, that’s okay. If you feel angry, that’s fine. All feelings are fine and valid. So long as you don’t stay trapped and consumed by them and allow them to flow freely when they arrive that’s all we can do. Anger and frustration is normal in grief and as long as you don’t do anything to harm yourself and others then it’s completely fine to ride those emotions as it’s all part of our journey and healing process. We’ll never be fully healed but we’ll eventually grow around our grief and live in a way that we can cope with it (I’m hoping so anyways!! ) I’m glad you feel lighter by writing your message. It’s good to talk. I also feel a little lighter with this message. I’m here if you want to private message x
) I’m glad you feel lighter by writing your message. It’s good to talk. I also feel a little lighter with this message. I’m here if you want to private message x