I feel awful most of the time, feel churned up, exhausted, trouble sleeping, emotional, tearful, really lonely, no one to talk to, haven’t really got any friends and my only relative is my brother who isn’t very sympathetic. My GP said he would sign me off work but I 'm more depressed at home as I live alone now that Mum is gone.
8 Likes
Hi Victoria22,
Sorry to hear you feeling like this, can I ask how long ago you lost you mum? It’s completely normal to feel like this but you need support and someone to talk to, if you need to talk I’m always here xxx
It will be 5 weeks on Sunday x
2 Likes
This is normal, it’s been 1 week for me, she died suddenly in front of me but unfortunately the paramedics could not save her. It is completely normal how you feel, I’ve up and down never cried just really bad panic attacks and scared all the time but coming on here and chatting as really eased me, knowing that I am not the only one suffering is so supportive. Have you tried chatting with a grief therapist
2 Likes
Really sorry to hear about your mum. I haven’t really talked to anyone. Mum died in hospital, she’d been there for 2 weeks for something that I didn’t think was life threatening, I wasn’t with her. I’d visited the night before and she seemed fine, then the hospital phoned in the middle of the night to say she had died. I feel bad that I wasn’t with her. xx
2 Likes
Honestly do not feel bad, she knew you loved her so much and she would not want you feeling like this. It’s an awful experience to lose your mum and I honestly know exactly how you feel I slept in the sofa for first five days with light on as was so scared and felt I could not breathe, but then I started to talk to her out loud every night and asking for her to help me and I feel a lot more safer going to bed. Do you have any support from your employer, you really need to keep talking about how you feel as it helps you keep calm. So sorry you are going through this xxx
3 Likes
My line manager is nice but I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. This site is really good but it’s sad to see so many people are going through the same thing xx
2 Likes
Your never being a burden to anyone, it’s natural to feel that way but you are allowed to ask for help
It’s been amazing for me, how are you feeling now? Xx
2 Likes
hey , your story seems very much like me . if you want a private chat feel free. I’m sorry for your loss I recently unexpectedly lost my mum and all of those sympoms of grief I feel too and then some its the worst feelings or heartbreak iv ever ever had in my whole life . it doesn’t feel normal or real I’m numb my minds blank and all I do is cry its such a terrible feeling I feel like iv got a massive hole in my soul and that hole can never be filled again. I feels so wrong and unreal even thou I know its real. its such a hard feeling to explain it feels awful deverstating broken empty I could go on because the list is long . xx
2 Likes
Took a sleeping pill & went to sleep, only woke up twice which is good for me at the moment. Going to the gym to get me out of the house. Thanks for your help it is really nice of you when you are going through a tough time too xxx
Glad to hear you had a bit of a better sleep, hopefully the gym will make you feel a little normal. I totally understand exactly how you feel, always here, you can message direct anytime xx
1 Like
@Ab12 and me, I visited day before and was on my way to hospital when they rang. Just awful. I’m staying in my mum’s flat at the moment waiting for my husband and daughters to arrive. Funeral is next Wednesday. Basically I had to deal with it on my own since she died on 5th Feb. I’m so exhausted that I can’t even cry anymore. I keep smelling her clothes wanting to get that connection…
1 Like
Hi orla13,
I know exactly what you feel, my mam died suddenly last Thursday after having to put my poor dog to sleep, 2 hours later my dad had a stroke so mam when off in ambulance, fast forward a few hours and me and my brother picked her up and brought her home, had a conversation together and made her some toast, next thing she is being sick and started making the most awful sounds ever, she was alive when the paramedics got her but unfortunately died in ambulance. I’ve had to be the strong one for my brother as he keeps blaming himself, I’ve had to make all the arrangements and call everyone it’s so hard I’ve not even cried, just shear panic every day. My partner had to go back home for work yet he went to neighbours for drinks last night and it’s really passed me off, has the cheek to say he’s worried about me yet, never rang just a few texts between drinks. I could scream the house down at times. I know you must be dreading the funeral, I hope you find strength and always remember she loved you so much. It’s such sad times but we do all know how it feels xx
1 Like
@Ab12 so sorry you went through this. Such sad times. How is your dad? Glad you have a brother, I have no siblings and my dad died 24 years ago. I feel really alone…
I hope you can find strength to deal with what’s ahead. Always here if you want a chat. We are all in the same boat. When it comes to partners, I do think that sometimes they really don’t know how to help us. Maybe a calm conversation explaining what you are going through and that his actions are hurting you? Hope you find some support from him. Sending hugs. 
@orla13,
He’s ok just worries that he’ll be next. It helps having them but in the same sense I don’t feel like they are there as they don’t seem to want to do anything it’s always me, I was so close with my mam so always had her to moan to about them. It must be really scary for you being on your own, but you are doing great to have found the strength to do it all is something you should be proud of. The pain and suffering will ease for us, unfortunately there is no quick fix, baby steps all the way. If you need to shout/cry do it it’s your body telling you what you need. Sending you loads of love and hope you are ok xx
1 Like
I was in a bit of a daze at my mum’s funeral, I tried hard not to look at the coffin as I didn’t want to think about my mum being in there. I had to arrange the funeral and tell all her friends my brother live a long way from me. The funeral was the day before her birthday. I’d booked to take her away for a few days as a birthday treat and went on my own which was really depressing. Picking up her ashes next week.
Stay strong, sending hugs xx
Sounds like it is for me these days, so I guess it’s normal. Could you find something to do during the day that takes you out of the house? An outing to some interesting place or a walk? That’s what I try to do most days, as it usually feels worse being home for me as well.
1 Like
My heart goes out to you. I lost my dad who myself & my daughter lived with last August. Beside my daughter, my closest living relative lives abroad, & they have been very cold towards me, & I feel very let down by them. Lucky I have friends & other relatives. I am joining a bereavment group. Would that help you. I cry for my parents every day. Take care.
2 Likes
Thanks I’ll look into joining a bereavement group. I only have my brother and nephew but they live some distance away and have busy lives. Feeling really emotional at the moment, I have just been to collect mum’s ashes. I cried both directions on the bus & no one asked if I was ok. Thanks for your advice xx
1 Like
@Victoria22 so sorry you went through this. Its awful noone took interest. My mum’s funeral was today. I feel so broken and empty. Now its done, I feel like I have no purpose to get up and do anything. I’m dreading going back to my house. All I want to do is sit in my mum’s flat looking at her stuff. I can still feel her here…
1 Like