Is this normal

It’s been 4 years since I lost my Husband Brendan to Melanoma. Today I don’t know why but I can’t stop crying. Is this normal after so long?

It’s a very common question on the forum and there is no definite answer. For what it’s worth I don’t think there is any Normal or even any abnormal in grief. After all, who is to judge. For someone who has only gone a few months it’s a worrying thought but it’s not like we want to just forget our loved ones. I suppose it’s more a case of what triggered it and why today.
It’s only a problem if you see it as such.

Hi Mazbren38
I would say totally normal,there is no right or wrong to grief,we feel what we feel when we feel it,regardless of time,we miss our loved ones support and presence always,some days easier to cope more than others,I hope you are feeling more peaceful soon emotionally xx

Thank you it has just been a very emotional day today for me. I can usually cope and tend to wear a mask. But I just could not stop crying today for what life together we had lost. Xx

Its new years eve and I’m with my daughter, son in law and grand children thousands of miles from home. It seems that every time I get to a milestone day or date I just want to be on my own. Seeing in the New year without my wife is unbearable. I should be happy to have my family around me but cannot bear the fact that I will begin a new year without my wife of 38 years. For the record I too have days when all I can do is cry and this is one of them. My daughter tells me that 5 months is no time at all after the death of my wife and I know she is right. This still does not make me feel any better or feel guilty that I am somewhat spoiling the occasion for them.

Hi Malc so sorry for your loss. I too was married for 38 years. I find that I have to find times when I’m on my own to cry as I don’t want to upset my daughters. Yesterday was one of those days when I cried practically the whole day. I live with my daughter her husband and my granddaughter. But at times feel quite alone. It’s at these times that I just want Bren to be there to say come on Luv it’s ok. I often talk to him. It is early days for you but I cannot say it gets easier because I feel it doesn’t, you just learn to cope a little better. You put a mask on when you are out in public. But inside you are screaming. I haven’t cried like this for along time. But think I really needed to do it. So my advice and it’s only my advice is if you need to cry , scream or shout then do it.

Like you, it’s four years since my soulmate left and yes I cry. I don’t know what normal is because that was over four years ago when things were normal. I do know if I get tired for what ever reason, I can cry at the drop of a hat. Early to bed and aday doing nothing much, then I can cope. They say time heals but it’s not healing it is learning to survive on your own and always putting a brave face on it. We miss them each and every day but life goes on.
Blessings and I hope things improve for you.

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