Is this usual?


It’s been a while since I posted. My partner died very suddenly and unexpectedly (heart attack in a swimming pool) at 56, 18 months ago now. And I lost my home around rh same time.

I was remarkably ‘OK’ for a while. Too OK I think, and then I had a breakdown. I’ve been clawing my way to some sort of normality but I’m still really struggling. And it still feels mostly abstract a lot of the time. I find it v hard to connect with the true feelings of loss, etc.

I know everyone says there’s no set time and everyone’s grief is individual, etc etc. But I guess I’m looking for some reassurance from others who have actually been there that where I’m at is not unusual.

My main feeling is that it all feels too big for my head, if that makes sense.

Thank you x


My darling also left very suddenly, stroke, one minute watching TV. Next minute gone. Now nearly 6 months on and things have changed. I seemed to be coping, existing very well, keeping busy, friends and family rallying round. Now it’s quieter, getting used to life alone but the tears flow more often and life seems a little pointless with my continually asking myself, ‘is this it?’ My dog is a massive comfort and I play the guitar and sing a lot, supporting a stroke charity and visits to a nursing home. And that’s fine until I come home. I cook in the evening, sometimes asking people round. And that’s fine too. Then the morning comes around like Groundhog Day. This is just me I know, there is no normal or usual here. Good luck, God bless,

stay strong. With love x


@Goldfinch I know exactly what you mean about being too big for your head . 5 weeks seems like forever ago since I found Bry that morning but at the same time every day feels like first day all over again xx