Currently nearly 3 years on and the isolation and suffocation I’m feeling is still so harsh, people just say to me your young enough to find someone else, but I don’t want no one else I want him
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Amy its over18 months for me.This life we have to endure now really is harsh thats what i am finding.People as many of us on here find dont truly understand how we feel unless they have been there as we all have on here, they dont get it.Whether we have lost our dear loved ones young or very old they were our loved ones, someone we loved deeply.The person we lost was unique, they are irreplaceable, noone will ever replace them no.I do hope things will get better for you Amy.This site has been a Godsend for me.Everyone is so kind caring and understanding.There will always be someone to support you and to listen to how you feel.Its always good to talk, especially with people who genuinly understand.Please look after yourself.
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Well said, Brummy. It’s so true.
I can relate to the sense of isolation, Amy. Thank god for this site where we can share and understand. X
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Hi Amy
Am so sorry for your huge loss. I don’t get why people feel the need to say such cruel things to someone who is grieving the biggest loss of their lives. As brummy says, your other half is irreplaceable, you feel like saying to these people, ‘just like a car, when it breaks down? , okay I’ll just go out and get a new one’. Our partners were one of a kind, unique and deeply loved. There is no way you can replicate that.
It’s also the loss of our past, present and future that’s so hard to come to terms with. The one who always had our backs.
Take care and I wish you and your children well, it’s such a tough road to find yourself on xx
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You said it perfectly brummy
It’s the isolation after everyone has left, they just think it’s back to normal after a few weeks, i probably felt the same before I lost tony because nobody talks about grief and what it does to you, sadly loosing tony has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with and I’m not really dealing with it just existing from day to day. Everyone says the same you have to experience deep loss to understand it, i lost parents and brother in the last 6 years but tony was always there to hold me up and it’s hard when you have to do it yourself. I have had people say to me that I’m still young enough (59) to find someone else, it’s very offensive, but they’ve never felt the loss of there loved ones so I just ignore them because sadly they will feel this one day themselves, sorry if this is a bit long winded but sometimes when you start talking g it’s hard to stop because we try to say everything we are feeling. 
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Nobody can live your life for you. It’s easy for people to say oh you’re still young when they don’t know how strong and connection you had with your partner it doesn’t really come into it. You might have time you spend with somebody or the age is how strong the connection was. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself just let things come as they are. No one says you have to find somebody else if there is a time it’s going to be right you will know.
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Thank you Jean.Nobody really understands how we feel, nobody.Every human being is an individual, we all have different feelings and emotions.When we lose someone we love especially a husband/wife/partner its a different type of grief to what we felt on losing a parent.The only comparison i can imagine would be losing a very young child.Its not like flicking a switch when we lose a loved one.Grief doesnt work in such a a way .For some of us it can take years to try and “move forward” i hesitate to use the words “move On’ as for so many of us we will never be able to.We will try our best as i say to my dear wife each night and thats all we can do.I was intersted to hear schools are foing to put grief and bereavement on the cirriculum.its a subject will effect everyone at sometime in their life.When we lose our loved ones in whatever circumstances is so hard, myself it was very sudden and unexpected which has made the grief so hard and painful, she was here one minute gone the next.Death is very rarely talked about generally in life but the old saying that theres nothing more certain than taxes and death is so true.Like yourself Jean its the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with emotionally physically and mentally.you are so right it feels like we are just existing now, just going from day to day.for someone to say you could find someone else is so insensitive Jean.The person we lost we loved with all our hearts.They were a unique loving caring person.Noone will ever replace them.Nobody and nothing will ever replace my wife she is irreplaceable.Its very offensive too for someone to say things like they did Jean.you are doing the right thing by ignoring them.I would advise anyone that has experienced similar to do the same.
I do hope things will get better for us.We will always carry our dear loved ones love in our hearts that is something not even death can part us from and our love for them will forever be with them too.
Look after yourself Jean.
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Thankyou brummy
I too lost my husband unexpectedly, he went to sleep and never woke up, finding him was such a shock and it still feels unreal but I know he didn’t want to leave me and loved me with everything he was as I do him. I don’t know why people think that we would be looking for someone to fill the place of our loved ones, but it’s people who have never felt the kind of pain that we feel, and sadly for the rest of our lives, that say these things, i never thought it would be this all consuming pain until sadly it happened to us
God bless brummy hope you have a peaceful night’s sleep
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Thank you Jean.I hope you have a good nights sleep too.Take care
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