Does anyone else just want to be left alone? I keep being told not to isolate myself, but I don’t want to be around anyone.
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Hello @Ali66, I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I’m just giving your thread a, “bump” - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
I totally understand what you mean. Sometimes I feel that I should socialise but when I do I really wished I hadn’t bothered. I’m basically a very shy person so I don’t enjoy socialising much, never have, but it’s like after having lost someone everyone feels that they should keep you busy. I’ve got to the point now where I only socialise on my own terms, not listening to other people’s opinions. I’ve now got to the stage, after just over 9 months, where I realise the only people I really want to have anything to do with are my family that’s children and sisters. You shouldn’t beat yourself up if you don’t want to socialise because if people were truly your friends they would understand. Take care and listen to yourself. Gail xx
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Hi @Ali66 ,
I know the feeling well, I think especially after a bereavement, it’s understandable to want to take time to yourself sometimes, sometimes we’re still trying to compute what has happened, & come to terms with the loss, the changes to our lives, & sometimes we just don’t want the fuss that the people around us are making. I know sometimes people think they’re helping, that by getting you out for a while, & around other people it will somehow make you feel better, but it won’t, I get that it may help some people, but sometimes we just want to be left to work through our own feelings, or have a moment to ourselves without people fussing. When I feel ready to talk to people, or socialise, I can call them when I feel comfortable to do so, it doesn’t mean I’m grumpy or antisocial, it just means I need my own space sometimes, like we all do from time to time.
You do what feels right for you, & take things at your own pace. Sending hugs of support.
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You’re so right with everything you said. My youngest son tells me to just think about myself for now, and he’s right. Not that I’m a saint, but I do need to stop worrying about other people’s feelings.
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