Ist anniversary of my wife Death

I’m not looking forward tonDecember 1st as its first anniversary of Sharon Death.
My mental Health and physical health have suffered so much over the last year.
For the first 6 months I did not open up and realy talk to anyone about how I felt . I put on my happy face to fool people how I felt I may have looked happy and people said you doing so well but inside I was crying and not coping.
In July this year I suffered a heart attack ( I’m only 55 very fit for my age my wife was only 48 when she died
I am now talking to people and opening up how I feel that has helped a lot . I have moved forward a lot but like everyone else it’s two steps forward 1 back. But running untoward the anniversary I afraid it going to be 1 forward 10 back

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I’m glad that you are opening up now so that you don’t put yourself under the added strain of bottling things up. I’m only 7 months on so not at the anniversary point yet but dreading the prospect of Christmas and then many important dates between then and the anniversary. From dates I’ve gone through so far, the lead up can be just as bad. You feel like you should ‘do something’ but you don’t know what. It’s strange how a loss like this makes you realise how the calendar of things to look forward to just changes completely into the calendar of dates to dread. There are very few months now without a ‘significant’ date in them. I try to consider each day as a day to get up and plod on now. No days hold anything special for me, I don’t think they ever will. Even my kids’ birthdays as I just think of him by my side in the delivery room and the look of joy on his face. I sill can’t be,I’ve that I am left with a life like this - as are so, so many others.