After being together for 36 years , I lost my Mr everything, this has been the worst thing I have ever suffered by a million miles. I feel that I will never come to terms with this , it been four years 1 month now and nothing feels any better. This hasnt been helped by me still having an ongoing complaint with the Nhs trust who failed him so badly.
As if that wasnt enough I am now caring for our chronically ill daughter whilst a placement is sought, this has been ongoing since her care home evicted all the adult residents, this has been incredibly difficult without my Husband. I realise eventually she will be placed ,I am exhausted and just hope I can hold out until she is placed.
I moved house when my Husband passed ,it is lovely here , a place where my Husband and I visited for over 30 years. I now wonder if I can be happy anywhere , I am forever looking for new houses, literally the other side of the country. I feel like running, but where to ? . On top of this my parents are in their 80s , a my lovely mom is very forgetful and I can see how this is heading. Much as I love them all, I want to grieve my Husband.
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Sorry for your heartache, and that you are also awake at this ridiculous time in the night.
I know what you mean about running away. I keep thinking of places I can go to and people I can visit, but ultimately what are we running from? We will never get there as this terrible thing we face will follow us.