It hurts

How do i stop hurting ? This is killing me. I stop myself crying. I am just on the edge and desperate to grab something to make me feel better but dont know what it is.


I just dont know how . Im am similar to you as we are both grieving. But i do hope your pain can be relieved by knowing other do care x ask for help never be afraid to ask for help x

Thank you. I just need something, anything to help with the physical and emotional pain.

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whatever you choose, make it a healthy choice.
walk, drink water, seek counseling, eat soup, yogurt.
rest, zone out in front of t.v. bad choices add to fatigue and pain.

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Sorry to hear your struggling, today I’m struggling too, I felt ok this morning, but this afternoon BAM! I’m in a flood of tears again :sob:, I normally use distraction techniques, word games & stuff, but the fact is, I’m alone, I’m going stir crazy in this house, & I’m not coping. Sending hugs of support.


Its horrible. I feel like i cant breath today. When does this get any better ???

I have no answer either, I’ve had a bad week and the constant pain is unbearable. :worried: Distractions help sometimes, like going out for walks, playing games on the mobile. So sorry for your loss and sending lots of hugs. :heart:

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That’s me. I can relate to that so much. :pensive::heart:


I wished I had the answers to all our problems. I use to think I was alone with mum, sure felt like it with care in the UK. But now I’m truly alone and it’s horrible. For those people who say they happy in their own, well they not on their own, they can’t be!


ever so slowly, I got involved with social groups. over the last few years, they are now familiar faces and it is comforting. their meeting times give me some sort of schedule. I also take some adult ed classes and that gets me out and some sort of schedule. I swim at the local natatorium two days a week, some sort of schedule. this took time but this may be helpful in the coming unfortunate reorganization of one´ s life.

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can’t swim

Hi @berit
I started with social groups too, that’s how I met my boyfriend, I have a social group Monday run by the charity Mind, & Thursday afternoons I do Tai chi, (something my boyfriend got me into,) we like swimming too, but it’s something we just do for fun in summer.
If it helps, ask citizens advice about social groups or bereavement groups in your area, other than that, maybe :thinking:… Think about your interests, what would you like to do, or skills you would like to have, for example a simple group making something or learning a skill, like sketching, writing, origami, a walking group, or (I don’t know how old you are) some places do coffee mornings for over 60s, you just see what appeals to you, the point is it would give someone structure to your week, it would give you something to look forward to & focus on, & hopefully won’t feel so alone.

I’m 55, with lower back pain at the moment. Grew up with the new wave 80s stuff and always have music on.

Well my mum died just before the August bank holiday, funeral was October. Christmas was busy with work Security. That has helped me a lot, but beginning went to hospital consultant. I have a stomach hernia, and obviously after Christmas was quiet. I started to get lower back pain which is also slowing me down a bit. Not getting a lot of money at the moment and what I’m getting is going on debt.

is life better having a companion, Panda Princess? I would imagine life becomes more pleasant.

Hi @berit
In answer to your question, yes & no, yes having a companion does make it feel a bit easier, sometimes, but at the same time no because my boyfriend has both of his parents, & a close family, so doesn’t always understand how it feels, my mom passed 3 years this April, my dad is a problem drinker & the relationship between me & my dad has completely broken down, we can’t stand the sight of eachother, which makes my home life messy & complicated, & admittedly very unstable, but my boyfriend can’t always understand why I struggle with his “normal” family, & issues I have with my mom’s death, I think mostly because it’s something he hasn’t experienced yet. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my mom’s death, (& reading messages on here,) it’s that we should make the most of the time we have, because no-one knows what’s just round the corner, life is like a series of moments, none of them can last forever, only in our minds & in our memories, life’s too short to focus on the bad stuff all the time, this makes the time I share with my boyfriend all the more precious. When I’m sad he gives me hugs & supports me the best he can, & it’s very comforting to have him there, to be honest, he’s saved my life soooooo many times over the past 3 years, there were times when I would get so depressed & just want to give up on everything, but he’s kept me alive & pulled me through it.


yes isn’t it! lucky to have him, more good than bad. a comfort :slightly_smiling_face: