First time… on here . Just trying to make sense of how people cope… talking to family doesn’t work for me… no one quite understands and talking to strangers seems easier…but they only tell you what you want to hear or what they think is best… coming to terms in my own time seems to never happen either… reading others story’s seems to help as you don’t feel so alone… but I am alone…
I struggle everyday … my heart aches.
I struggle to cry I struggle to love…
There’s a part of me that is just so angry with the world… I’m surrounded buy people who say they love me but… sometimes I think there life’s would be better with out me…
People who vanish without a trace do they take the pain with them… or is there away to become someone new and start over. It just hurts 
I’ve felt the same talking to family doesn’t always help.
Just reaching out on here is a big step in self care and writing things as you think them will help
It is incredibly hard and the loneliness is at times overwhelming. I find the nights terrible and this time of year just makes it worse. Just when you think it can’t get any worse. My husband was the love of my life and my best friend. It just feels so unfair but that is how we all feel on here. Keep reaching out. In some way we are helping each other because we know what we are going through. Take care. X
@Gary1982 what is your grief story? Whatever the details we all hear you and the pain of your sadness. Grief is a complicated experience and you’ll pretty much have to weather it alone, even if you’re surrounded by support. Expect all the emotions to come and go as you work it out. Give yourself time and try hard to look after yourself physically because you need all the physical strength you can get. If the struggle feels too much seek professional help before you are overwhelmed. Keep going… take care xx
Hi Gary
I am 4 months down the line and there can be better days. Please hold tight because we all think that things we get better. If you need to talk this is a good place. Please take care. X
On February 19th 2019 I lost my farther after a long battle with lukemia/cancer and that I felt I could deal with that… altho I miss him terribly… it was ok… and then on august 1st I was asked to go do a warfare check on the behalf of my daughters mother / ex partner on her farther who I was very close with for many years after our spilt… he hadn’t been seen for two weeks and that summer we seemed to be in a heatwave… I found him in not a very good condition in his home… he had had a heart attack… this was the saddest situation in the world at that point… and we had a lot to deal with… But my ex partner just never fully excepted her responsibilities … or the fact he was gone… …The following September on the 28th she was found at her home after suffering a blood clot … Which absolutely broke my daughters world into pieces … telling her her mummy had died is the hardest thing I have ever had todo in my life… She was a brilliant mum to her and still very much part of my family in everyway… The pain of that day just aches my heart…and the loss of 3 of the people I loved most in the world will be with me always. Sorry I have had to take my time to reply… I find it difficult. Not sure what I was expecting to see or hear on here… the day I wrote the post I was so low… I just wanted to disappear from the things that remind me daily of the pain.x
You have had such a lot to deal with and you haven’t really had time to catch your breath. I didn’t know what to expect when I started on here but it has been so helpful. You can be totally honest and sometimes it just helps knowing there are others out there and they genuinely care. It is much easier to talk to be people who have been through the same thing because they understand and I find it very hard to talk to people around me. I don’t want to bring everybody down and become the misery everyone avoids.
Keep talking and remember your daughter needs you and you are doing a great job. It’s ok to be sad but don’t bottle it up. Sending love. X
Seeing old Christmas post off Facebook… I’m currently at work and just wanna go hide… I just arghhhhhhhh !!! 
It’s the small things sometimes that can come out of nowhere and completely throw you. Take care x
@Gary1982 grief is a very rocky road. I’m 10 months on from losing my Mum suddenly and unexpectedly. My experience has been very up and down, there are still lots of triggers that completely ambush me emotionally. I try very hard to keep going as I know how my Mum would want me to carry on living my best life. Some days it’s so hard though, but I hope eventually things will move on and change for me. Take care xx