It just isn't getting better

I lost the love of my life two and a half years ago. Now I feel that I am losing the will to live myself. I wish we could have gone together. I feel sad all the time.


It’s so difficult carrying on isn’t it & I often still have days where I wish I could join him 3 years on. But I think of his 2 girls my stepdaughters & our newly arrived grandson, he was so looking forward to being a grandad, I feel I owe it to him to enjoy it for him if that makes sense. That’s how I overcome the periods of not wanting to go on. Live your life for them, take them with you. Please don’t think your life’s not worth living, it is, although grief often feels unending you’ll get to a point where you have more better days than bad & that’s all we can hope for because you never get over it.

Take care xx


Hello Malc39200, I have talked to you on the 17/07/22. I am sorry you have not made much progress.

I did not want to talk to anyone at my early stage, but I found out that I had to.

I started to talk to dog owners in the local park and spoil the dogs with little treats. - Since then I joined the local bereavement group. (A neighbour made me. She even drove me there the first two times.) We just talk and have some cake and tea. I did not know what to talk bout the the first time, but it got better the second time. I go there every month now. - I just wish it was more often than once a month.

I was also talked into joining a group who want to brush up on their German. We meet once a week.

Being among people really helps me.

We all need something to look forward to. - We also need hope. (I also use the Euro Lottery for that. Yes, I know, I am a dreamer. - But, you never know.)

My big bonus is cuddling my two cats, they give me a purpose. - Nick


Hi Malc , im so sorry you are feeling this pain. I can relate to how you feel. I lost the love of my life, my fiance to suicide 6 weeks ago. We were inseperable. i have to keep going for my boys and my whippet, our baby but i have no idea how to carry on. My only comfort is that ill be back with him again when its my time. Always here to talk if youd like to.


I am so sorry, wish I could say something to help you.
There are lovely caring people on here who know exactly how you feel, you are not alone.
Big hugs xxx


Thank you so much for replying and caring.


I’m so sorry you are still struggling with life so much without your wife. This loss of our loved one is on a different scale to other losses isn’t it?
I don’t have any great ideas as you are further along than me but I do know that having purpose in my life is my main saving grace. I have two daughters, one of whom is getting married in August, the other has a learning disability and needs a lot of input to try and boost her independence.
I also have Richard’s farmland to keep, the house to maintain and the garden to keep tidy, all of which he did loads of work to do.
Helping others also gives me a reason why I am needed so I volunteer at a craft group for older people and run an exercise class for older people too. Not sure at what age I’ll be helping people who are by then younger than me as I will be 62 in May!!!

Everyone is different and the idea of purpose may not suit others but it is gradually making a life for me, even if there is such a massive hole in it which could only be filled by my funny, loving and hardworking husband. I still cry regularly but I do laugh and am living too.

I do hope things improve for you and wish I could magic that to happen.
Sending love
Karen xxx