My mum passed away 6 months ago of stage 4 lung cancer. It’s only been 6 months but it feels like a life time. I don’t want to let go of her belongings it’s hard. I wear her coat everyday. i have a dad and a brother but i don’t feel close to them or supported by them at all. It makes me feel so alone and sad at times. I came to my mums house to start the process of selling her house. I have not been here in months so it really took me by surprise when i broke down in tears. Some days i don’t feel like being alive any more but i’m not suicidal. It’s hard to explain. I knew there would be a time that friends and family would stop asking how i am. It’s horrible i have not stopped grieving but the world around me has moved on. I miss my mum so much i feel so lost without her.
Dear @Rhi24
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your um. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and will understand what you are going through.
I am sure someone will be along to offer their support but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources that might be of support and help to you.
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Losing a parent - Coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder?
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Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This is helpful for family and friends.
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .
Please continue to reach out. You are not alone, we are all here to support you.
Take care.
Pepsi
Good afternoon.o lost both my parents 9 years ago I’m March my dad got diagnosed with cancer in feb off 2014 .on 7th March he went in to hospital for a rest on the 8th match my mum had a heart attack and died.i had to go up the hospital and tell a man who was dying his best mate and wife off 38 years was dead.mine and dad’s birthday 16th cremated mum on the 24 I was in hospital with dad on the 28th and he died then.mums birthday 31st.have just split with my partner 3weeks ago off 17 years because I felt I was going to explode with grief.first time I’ve spoken about.if anyone needs to chat please message me don’t let it eat you like it ate me
Hi,
Sorry for your loss, my mum died in 2017 and at times I do feel like I’m back in that frozen stage of grief. She was sick for so much of my childhood and for my twenties my entire life was on hold for the trauma and grief. I can really empathise with you, it’s such a shit time and life getting in the way of grief makes it more difficult.
As someone who is a little bit further down the line your feelings will get more context, it won’t feel like you’re just lost in the woods- or at least that’s how it felt. I genuinely kept my mum’s coat for months because it smelled like her and I couldn’t let it go. Death is hard enough to live with and life continuing going on is so hard, Grief just takes it’s own time, and just know it does get easier to live with.
I am wishing you all the best, it must be so difficult selling the house so I hope it goes smoothly. I hope you know you’re absolutely not alone.
@Dazzieb ’m so sorry for the loss of both parents. Sending you a big hug. That’s a lot to deal with and i can’t begin to imagine what you experienced. Apologies for the delayed reply. I retreated back into my cave after my last post.
@Dorothy99 thank you what you have said is really helpful. I’m sorry for the loss of your mum. Sending you a hug. Apologies for the delayed reply i retreated back to my cave after my last post. Started to get in a better head space until today. My mums best friend spoke about my mum. She was sharing fond memories and it triggered me crying all the way home on the train. I feel so alone sometimes especially when my dad and brother are so unsupportive.
Oh I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to be here anymore but not being suicidal, it’s hard to explain but I know.
Sadly I’m in the same boat as you, I lost my Mum 12 weeks ago myself, so I’m afraid I won’t be much help but I do want you to know that you are not alone in this.
It does help to a certain extent when you learn of others who feel the same, that’s why I felt like I had to reach out.
My Mum and Dad split up years ago but I’ve never been as close to my dad as I was and still am to my mum 
I find that I seem to be struggling a lot more than my siblings as they never talk about it or even check in with me to see if I’m okay cause I did take it the hardest I believe and they know it to. It hurts that they don’t contact me in fact no one seems to check in on me these days.
@Jess1 first i want to send you a big hug for the loss of your mum. You are not on your own and i’m here if you want to talk. Thank you so much for your words of support and you are a great help. Like you my mum and dad had split up years ago. I was extremely close to my mum but not my dad. You are so right that learning that are other people are experiencing the same thing helps. It is really tough especially when siblings or other family members don’t check up on you. I have learnt that people grieve in different ways. Sometimes people don’t want to ask in fear of upsetting you. It feels like the whole world has moved on but you haven’t. It will be a year this July that my mum passed. I have found all you can do is take one day at a time and do what works for you. I will be honest and say I still do feel alone at times. My dad and brother are still to this day not supportive. It’s hard when I want to pick up phone to my mum and just talk about how i’m feeling. Mum always checked in on me and vice versus. The day I flew back to the UK with my mums ashes no one checked on me. I cried all the way home with my mums urn. It was horrible!!
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that on your own! And I do apologise I thought this post was more recent than it actually is lol.
How do you find things now if you don’t mind me asking?
I did feel like I was getting over the worse of it but this week I feel like I’ve took 1 step forward and 2 steps back, I feel like I did right at the very beginning, like I’ve lost her all over again and the denial has even come back along with the brain fog and aching heart. It’s took me by surprise to be honest x
Awww no it’s fine don’t apologise. I happened to come back here because i was having a moment just as you described. You can ask me whatever you want. The first 6/7 months were really tough as you can see from my original post 
. I can totally relate to what you are saying about feeling like you are back to the beginning. I would have some days where i thought i was ok and then it would hit me like a ton of bricks just like you are feeling. I remember asking my mums siblings and friends who have lost someone when will I feel normal again? will the pain go away? Honestly they all said “you learn to live with the grief”. I really didn’t understand what they meant. I just thought that there would be a start and end to this but it’s not like that at all. I thought i was doing ok recently. I started to feel some kind of normal again. I noticed I started to have fewer days where i would be in floods of tears but then i had lunch with my mums best friend yesterday. She was talking about some memories of my mum which then triggered me spending the rest of the day crying. For me the pain and longing for my mum is always there. The only way i can describe is like it hasn’t fully gone away but it’s just there. The journey of grief is different for everyone. I have learnt so far that all you can do is take one day at a time, be kind to yourself and lean on people for support. I’m so sorry that you have had to deal with things on your own. Things that i have found helpful is this place and the text support service they provide. I also went for counselling near the beginning. It helped to have someone to listen me talk about my mum. I felt heard and understood. I also have friends that are supportive. Talking about mum helps. What do you find helpful? and do you have anyone that you can lean on? x