It’s hard holding on

Hello everyone
For the last 6 and half years I have been struggling with the loss of my mum. It’s hard holding on. This grief Is so alien to me and yet I am so used to feeling it. Grief has no hold on time it’s timeless and it’s so very cruel it loves to hurt it has no mercy and once it takes a hold of you it never legs go.
Each day I miss my mum more and more countless times I have played the day she went In my head over and over. I can’t ever forgive myself I was In about to start work I knew my mum was in hospital and instead was way more important. How can you forgive yourself for being so selfish and putting your job before your mum. Some things you can forgive but not that. It’ll forever be etched on my mind what I did. I never even got to say goodbye to my mum. At least one thing I know my dad was with her.
So this holding on geeks like I can do


Would your mother want you to blame yourself forever and be in such endless pain ? My guess is your mother would want to to forgive yourself .
I know it’s easier said than done but remind yourself of all the times you were there for her .
We never know when the moment is going to come and we are in our ordinary every day life mode . I too blame myself for things that happened but I know my partner would not want that .
I was talking to a nurse / carer about it she said that this guilt is part of the grieving .
There’s nothing worse in the world than loosing someone you truly loved and loved you . Try not to add to the pain by blaming yourself . I know how hard it is not to relive the event it’s an agony.
I’m sorry for your pain and hope you can find comfort through it .


@Steven you are being very hard on yourself, which is totally normal and is what we all do when we have lost someone we love dearly. You have to remember that your dad was with your mum, she wasn’t alone. You also have to remember the good times and the stuff you did for your mum. It’s normal to go over the final moments, it’s so utterly painful but that wasn’t them, if you see what I mean. They were more than how they were at the end, try and think of happy times. Sending hugs xx


I get what your saying. It is hard forgiving yourself. One day maybe realise that it’s not my fault but I do blame my job. It’s my actions I’m to blame for and what ever you may think when it’s your mum you can’t forgive yourself

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