I am a 24 year old guy. Several friends and family members have unfortunately passed. What has been most frustrating and painful have been the deaths of several of my friends, all younger than 19 at the time. Without going into further detail, all were unexpected. All occurred between 2017 and 2019.
The reason I came to this site was I had a huge set back in regards to my grief management. I have been managing my grief for the last couple years pretty well, but within the last 6 months, I feel I am falling apart. I have lost nearly 10kg in 10 weeks. I have been crying frequently, including at work or in public. I’ve been sick for weeks with chest infections, colds, chest pain, etc. I can’t sleep. (medical tests are clear, no health reasons - just grief apparently lol)
The reason I came to this site was I felt that my other resources were inadequate. I have seen so many therapists. I used to have sex to try distract myself. I’m not desperate enough to turn to alcohol or drugs. I talk with my family, but they live so far away. My current friendships are only a year or so old, so I don’t feel comfortable opening up to them.
I replied to a few people on here on how to manage grief, but I feel like I am just lying as I can’t even do it myself anymore, despite using those coping techniques myself before. I feel like I am losing myself, my identity.
Seven years is a long time, but I still vividly remember the announcement at school of my childhood friend’s death, where they projected his face across a giant screen in front of the whole school.
At risk of rambling further, I guess all I wanted to do was just vent to a digital forum behind anonymity to anyone who might have a chance to understand. Is there anyone who can help? Is it normal to feel this type of grief years afterwards? Does anything I feel make sense?
No body can put a timescale on grief and everyone handles it different. I have unfortunately turned to alcohol - dont judge me! Trying to get back on track. I dont eat, tho my tum is rumbling. Went to lunch with sis hardly touched it. I also get the anonymity of this forum. I’m not good at opening up to friends/famil.y I keep it to myself but I’m learning. Please keep engaging with this forum/group.
Yes, of course its normal. You are trying to deal with a lot of difficult things at a young age. Are there any other friends who have been through this?
Hey, thanks for the reply. I have been doing a bit of soul-searching myself the past few days. I think the most difficult part for me is being alone. I am seeing some family and friends soon, but the time between is perhaps too long.
Thanks for the reply. Yeah, going through the forums here gives me some sort of relief as it does sometimes feel like I have trapped myself in some sort of bubble. Whilst it is unfortunate, it does comfort me to see that grief affects us all in its own way. I just don’t want to have these depressed thoughts anymore.
Hey, thanks for the reply. Not really. I have moved between countries and homes frequently so haven’t had relationships with friends for too long (not in person if that makes sense). I try my best to stay in contact but overtime, I have drifted away from others.
The difficult part is that there really isn’t someone I feel comfortable with discussing such topics. My current circle of friendship is barely a year, and it is a bit too much for myself to discuss such a topic.