It was bound to happen

It’s been three years this September since I lost my husband . In these three years I have been at rock bottom to the point where I have had to had professional help. I have had the biggest roller coaster ride ever. I have returned back to work and just getting on with life as we are expected to do .
Yesterday I came home from work to find a hand written note through the door to my husband from a friend of his saying . Sorry Iv net been in touch for a long time but I hope you are well and wondered if you still work on scooter as I need some advice .
As you can probably imagine my heart sank because I knew I had to contact this guy and tell him what had happened so I did there was a long silence on the other end of the phone and then he became all apologetic and said I am gutted I can’t believe it anyway to cut a long story short this guy was so genuine and lovely but when I got off the phone I just sobbed buckets you just expect that everyone within the circle of friends knows and I just felt here’s a really nice guy who knew nothing of what had happened and I felt quite sad and as if my husband has already been forgotten and no longer talked about .


Hello @Kazzer ,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.

Take good care,


That must have set you right back to those early days of having to tell people no wonder it upset you so much. I’m three years on also & sometimes things just catch you unawares. I’m learning day by day to live with my grief, I think that’s what happens you learn to carry it better but it’s always bubbling under the surface. I think my worst fear is that people start to forget My Derek & I’ve made it my mission that whilst I’m here he won’t be forgotten.
Sending love & strength :heart:xx


The other day the postman caught me getting into the car so handed me the mail. Is everybody alright, he said. Yes thanks, says I (it’s easier). Then he asked, where’s your husband, I haven’t seen him in a while. He died, i managed that with a calm exterior. Oh what happened, he asked. Too much, I just burst into tears. I had to just wave him away saying I’ve got to go to the dentist. (True). But then I stopped and shouted after him, thank you for asking after him, thank you for missing him.


@AngelinaH that happened to me also, not the same circumstances but, I opened the door and our usual postman was standing there, he said “ I’m so sorry to hear about Martin” to this day, I’ve no idea how he knew or who told him. He was our postman for a few years, at Christmas I would always him a gift; Biscuits and Wine. He was always so thankful…:two_hearts:

I’ve noticed over the past 4 months, he’s not our postman anymore… I feel sad about that, really silly I know.

Big hugs
Dottie x❤️


@Dottie72 Not silly. You get used to people and sometimes they just disappear from your life. You can feel quite sad, if you liked them. Our lives these days are often just peopled with strangers.

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