You are so right in what you say @Flossy22. It’s been 27 weeks since I lost my wonderful husband. We have to take an hour/day at a time and some days are better than others.
There’s no doubt, grief changes us in so many ways. I now lack confidence and the inclination to do things.
All the best to everyone on this awful dark journey.
xx
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Coming up to 7 weeks for me. Can’t believe it has only been 7 weeks. It feels like a lifetime. I have had to adapt so fast to looking after myself and being alone. The future just stretches into the distance as a never ending black hole. I find myself getting impatient thinking when dealing with companies “ why is it taking so long” then realise it is only long for me
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I’ve lost all confidence and sometimes don’t want to bother getting up and doing anything- all seems pointless. I m just letting my grief take me were it must and if I howl like a child , the next hour I might be ok gardening….what a totally cruel thing we’re going through and I send love to all of you and I do feel comforted by your messages- thank you all xx
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Pudding, I know exactly what you mean- so impatient and angry.
That black hole will come and go a bit soon and you’ll have a few lighter times .
Because I nursed my husband at home for 18 months ( our choice) life has changed so drastically. I know none of us will ever be the same and wish you strength to live through this hell
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I actually even in this short time have some good days but have at times howled so loud that people passing outside have heard and gone to a neighbour saying they have heard someone in extreme distress.
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I didn’t know other people actually howled like I do - what a comfort to know I’m not alone .
Thanks for sharing xx
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I howl, too. My neighbour asked me if I had heard the foxes one night … it was me but too embarrassed to tell her.
xx
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Perhaps it is a coping mechanism. I suspect we may all do it in these circumstances
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I think you are right @Pudding, we have to release all that distress and emotion.
At least my visit to the dentist was ok, except I remembered going there with my dear husband and it started me off crying when I came out. Cried all the way home and now curled up on the sofa good for nothing.
I really don’t want this agonising life.
Sending hugs xx
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Dear Anna,
I feel your pain and despair and am so sorry to hear of you loss and the pain it brings you.
I lost my beautiful one 4 weeks ago and I too, am lost and in despair.
I keep hearing her telling me to remember the good times and keep pushing on, in her honour, as she would want me to.
I have been unable to work, I am self employed and work from home, so I don’t have colleagues to talk to.
I have set up a tribute website for her, so we can remember what a shining light she was/is.
Death might end life, but it does not end love, that love will always be there.
You must allow yourself to grieve, and those close to you will allow it, encourage it and support you.
Remember, your loved one would not want you to suffer, and they guide you through your days.
Keep busy if you can, even with short menial tasks, lean on friends and family, make sure you talk to people, however hard it may seem. There is no failure, don’t put pressure on yourself, small steps, finish things later.
But keep talking and keep contact.
I too, ask what is the point, I can’t focus and I am tired but then can’t sleep, I cry alot.
The extent of the sorrow mirrors the enormity of the love, but don’t give up.
Your loved one does not want you to give up.
Sending heartfelt sympathy, we know what you are going through, you are not alone. Big hugs, remember the good times, take care of yourself, keep distracted as much as possible.
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After 7 weeks I am now starting to get some sleep. I don’t cry all the time. I have to be up pretty early as my carers come at 7a.m . I had to get care in place quickly as my husband was my carer. It was the only time I could get at short notice. At the present it doesn’t bother me as I am awake at 5. In the first weeks it was 3. Being tired really doesn’t help cope with the grief.
Xxx
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So sad that we’ve ended up in this heartbreaking club. We have each other and that helps a lot xx
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I am going to see the GP tomorrow and will ask about counseling. Hopefully, she can help me. And it will be a face-to-face appointment, not a useless telephone appointment!! Thank you all for your kind comments I really appreciate this and it does help me. Sending you all lots of love and hugs.
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@Annaessex Hi, we’ve not been in touch before but I would like to wish you well for your doctors appointment tomorrow. Sending my best wishes. Peter
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Fingers cross all goes well and you get positive responses.
xx
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As the others hope it goes well.xx
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Have you been in touch with cruse their appointments are over the phone I registered with them end of April waiting list is 10 weeks it got to week 8 & I was really struggling so I emailed and told them I’m finding things very difficult and the called me a few days later 
definitely worth a try they are really good xx
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