Its 16months today since you died. I miss you so very much everyday. I love you my darling and I always will. It will be our 22nd anniversary on the 17th August and my second without you. Its not the same without you here,but then nothing is. I’m so empty and lost without you. Yes I still have your love with me and my love for you and the wonderful memories we made together. But god I wish I still had you here with me. You my sweet beautiful perfect Irish rose 
was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. You gave me the happiest and best years of my life. Thankyou for loving me and for all you gave me and for the years we shared together. The day I lost you was also the day my life ended because its nothing withoutyou. Its just an existence. Though I would be even more lost without our babies and without them there would be no love in my life. I love them so much and I’m so scared of losing any of them. I’m sorry if I’m letting you down. I just have no desire for this life anymore . I’m broken without you. I was always broken mentally but now emotionally as well. I know life is precious and I should make the most of life especially as life was denied to you. But I can’t because for me life without you is no life at all. We are two hearts and souls joined as one and we belong together. I know we weren’t married but in my heart and mind you are my wife and always will. I will love you all my life and carry you with me always. Be at peace my sweet baby. I love you with all my heart and soul. xxxxx
Dear @Casey1
This is such a moving post, I can feel your pain.
It is always good to write down your thoughts and express how you feel.
If you do feel you need someone to talk to there is always the Samaritans or there is Shout who have a text service on 85258. You can text any time, night or day. It is free and confidential.
Please take care of yourself. We are here for you.
Pepsi
Well said and absolutely spot on what you say. I am 34 months in and the pain never goes. We have good moments, minutes, hours which we have to enjoy. The problem is there are so many more we don’t.
I have an anniversary coming up, like you, which just adds to the pain.
Wish I had the answer, unfortunately I don’t.
Keep going for your babies and good luck x
Dear Casey. A beautiful letter to your darling Pauline its 28 months now since I lost Peter and the pain doesn’t go away we just try to carry on as best you can. I have my furbaby Drift who keeps me going I did have 4 border collies but lost 2 last year and my special girl Misty this year they do keep you going. Pauline will always be with you and her love. Take Care. Love from Jenny. Xx
Oh Casey, such a lovely letter to your Pauline again.
I totally understand your pain. It’s 18 months today since I lost my darling Ian and I actually feel lately that I’m going backwards. Waking up in the mornings brings that familiar feeling of hopelessness and wishing he was with me. (Or I was with him)
I really don’t know how so many people cope carrying this heavy burden of grief.
Keep on loving your babies Casey. We’re thinking of you and understand your total heartbreak.
Love & hugs
Janey xx
Casey1 it’s 16 months for me too since my darling man went and to me was still like yesterday . It’s just not possible we never went 10 minutes without contact it’s all like suddenly it’s 16 months like I’ve been asleep and woken up to this horrendous nightmare.
Take care Casey xx
@Peppers dear pepsi thankyou it helps to talk on here to people who understand… I was writing a lot of how I feel down at home . But I haven’t been able to do that for a while . Sometimes I just feel like the loss and grief are drowning me and it’s all I feel nothing but pain. But she was such an amazing beautiful lady and worth every bit of pain I feel. Her love will last me for the rest of my life until we are together again. Thank you for all the support you give to people on here and for caring. Take care x
@Mufcab1968 dear mufcab thankyou and you are so right so many moments minutes and hours and days that we don’t enjoy. It’s hard to without the one who made us complete and filled our life’s with happiness. Anniversarys are hard and I wish you I wish you all the best on yours. I know it will be a tough day for you. I’m so sorry you are going through this heartbreak. It’s bitter sweet isn’t it? The anniversary. Its hard to celebrate it without them here. But the way I look at it. It was the start of our beautiful journey together and so many years of love and happiness. But so heartbreaking because they are not with us. Take care and good luck x
@Jen153 dear jenny thankyou. As you said we have to carry on as best as we can. I’m glad you have your furbaby drift and I’m so sorry you lost your others. But I’m sure they are with Peter now. My babies do keep me going and to be honest I wouldn’t be here without them. You know Peter and his love will always be with you as well. Take care love and hugs casey xxx
@JaneyS dear janey thankyou and I’m sorry for the late reply. You know Ian and his love will always be with you and nothing can ever take away what we had with them and the love and happiness we shared. I totally understand that feeling of hopelessness and wishing they were here with us or us with them. I don’t know how they cope either. But we are still here and coping as best as we can. They say grief comes in waves. Maybe that’s why we fall backwards. Take care love and hugs casey xxx
@Janeets dear janeets it does still feel like it was yesterday pain wise. They were here and then suddenly they are not and one day just rolls into the next. It’s weird how time seems to go so slowly. Yet 16 months has passed and it just seems so unreal. I so wish it wasn’t real. But I can’t escape the cold harsh reality that my beautiful darling is gone. I get that with the contact. We were together most of the time. Take care janeets love and hugs casey xxx