It is 2 months now and people have stopped calling or messaging me. I still have family and friends who have said nothing to me either during Steve’s illness or after. I know people don’t know what to say but saying nothing is worse, you can see people physically avoiding you. Now 2 months on those that did message have stopped I feel so alone, it feels like they think I should be over it. Just receiving a message means so much that people are thinking of you. Coping after is tough there is a massive void in my life and I honestly feel I won’t be happy again it’s just
Hello I read your message and I understand. I am 7 months without my husband of 36 years and the pain is unbearable. I have been told by one of my oldest friends (we’ve been very close friends for 38 years) that she hasn’t called me very much because she can’t face it as she doesn’t know what to say. I appreciate her honesty and it has brought us closer because I know she is very sad for me. Another friend of 38 years has only called me twice in 7 months and hasn’t bothered to explain why she hasn’t been there for me and we were very. Close especially when we were younger. This is really hard for me to understand. When you lose your partner it is a loss that is different to any other and you find yourself in a very lonely place this is when your friends become important and it is the worst possible time for friends to let you down. However, you will find out who your true friends are when you are at your most lowest point in your life. Just think what your loved one would say to you, what they would want for you, they have gone but your love for them has not.
It’s very painful and lonely but yes sadly you do find out who your true friends are; if only they thought about how you might be feeling and how much it means for them to send a message. I have never known pain like it I am just ‘existing’ at the moment day to day x
Hi to you both and pleased you have posted and are connected to each other. It’s unbelievable how people react to us who have lost are loved ones but it seems what happens here in the uk. People seem to think you just get on with life and yes we have to but how nice it would be if others said hope you are ok, not how are you doing because there’s only one reply. I would love to tell them, you know today is a bad day and all I want to do is cry. The only thing I can add is be kind to others and be there for them. Take care of yourselves because you are very vulnerable both physical and mentally. Keep posting and you can always send private messages to each other. S xx