My dad passed away when I was 6yrs old, I was holding his hand when he died, fatal heart attack.
My mum died 12 years ago, cancer.
This year I lost my husband, terminal cancer, we’d been together since we were 16yrs, married for 47yrs. Also lost my older sister this year to Cancer and Dementia.
Although outwardly I appear to be coping, inside I’m raw and in pain. This year old wounds have been reopened, I feel knocked back. Time and healing not working for me at the moment.
My husband had been terrified of being left dealing with terminal cancer on his own as I’ve had a few near misses myself.
The thought of dying and death doesn’t scare me at all, it’s living with the sadness that’s not easy right now.
I’m working on making a new life, I’ve bought an electric wheelchair so I can be a bit more independent, downsized so I can manage better on my own and it’s closer to family but have my own space.
I find myself thinking more and more about my childhood, memories, thinking about the past.
One day at a time.
I do think that every bereavement we experience, throws up memories and emotions of previous losses.
I feel exactly the same regarding death and dying since losing my lovely husband this year.
It’s almost as if nothing life throws at me from now on can ever be as bad as that experience of loss and, you’re not wrong, living with the sadness is the really hard part.
But, we’re doing it Sue.
Some moments/days are better than others but we plod on and adapting to our different life has to be the way forward so, well done you.
Take care.
i’m 27 years old and i lost my mom 9 months ago to cancer, i feel like my life has ended, i can’t see a way forward, i feel like this immense sadness is going to always be with me so i’m really feeling your words right now, especially knowing that the pain can still very much be there so many years on
you’re taking it one day at a time and i admire your courage i’m trying to do the same, i want to try and make a better/new life for myself but i don’t know how to
It’s not easy to make a new life and move on but it’s possible. We can do it without losing the memories of those we’ve lost.
Someone asked me the other day about it. I have no words of wisdom, for me it’s starting each day, feet on the floor, one step at a time. If I don’t make much progress it’s ok. If I’m feeling sad, it’s ok. If I laugh, it’s ok.
Absolutely .
We need to be kind to ourselves on the journey.
It is a different journey, a new life. Not one we’d planned for. If we can hang on to hope, it may be a difficult thing to do in the low points but there are moments when it feels less painful, more doable.
i’m trying to do the same, i want to try and make a better/new life for myself but i don’t know how to