It's all so complicated

Coping with bereavement
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We were together for almost 6 years (anniversary is in August). She had complex mental health issues, I had become her career in many ways. She left me for someone else, hurt me in every way possible, then died 2 months later. Most likely accidentally.

I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m so mad at her. I miss her with every heart beat. I feel 1000 things, and the only person I want to talk to about it is her.

I wish I could say she still loved me, I don’t know. There’s no point to this, other than writing it down to be heard, as she won’t anymore.

I’m lucky to have the people I do in my life, but nobody is awake at 3am to give these thoughts to.

Well thanks for reading, hopeful I can sleep after letting these thoughts relax for a while.

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Hello @EmCharles,

I’m part of the Online Community team, and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling so mad and like you don’t know who you are. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and everything you went through; the way you are feeling is really understandable. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Hello Emcharles, so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband in March..im so sorry for how you are feeling, when we grieve we have so many emotions hitting us all at once, confusion, extreme sadness, lost, angry, we feel numb…it is a long road to start to even feel a bit better,…you say you were not together anymore, that probably adds to your grief, I hope you have family or friends around for support, it certainly helps to have people close to you..and counseling or join a bereavement group, it helps talking about your feelings, i hope posting here helps you as well, take care of yourself and may God bless you :folded_hands:

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