Hi everyone.
I lost my wife to a severe form of cancer over 3 and a half years ago. Before she passed away, my life was going just fine. I had my dream job as a self employed illustrator and most importantly, my absolute soul mate.
After she passed, I have had to change literally everything about my old life and every day has been a real struggle to go on living. I am so mentally exhausted and all I can think about is being with her again. I am so miserable!
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You must be completely hollowed out. I’ve only been without my soul mate for three months and I’m utterly exhausted. I keep being told, time heals all, but by the sound of it, it doesn’t. I can’t imagine where you’ve found the strength to keep going.
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@Chris4 i know were your are comjng from mate. I lost my soulmate 2 half years ago. The thing i have found is you get on with day to day but it is missing the spark which makes your heart jump a beat. You get knocked down when you least expect, the dig deep to get back up. I have found distraction is the key , what ever form , just to give you a rest bite for a hour. Sadly the feelings are ever present it is finding a way to keep these at arms length. Easier said that done, when the day you lost the love of your existance slaps you in the face. I am si blessed i had her in my life just wanted more. Stay safe allen.
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I hope you find some peace. It is such a life altering journey and seems like the roadmap is so individual.
So sorry! I understand how you feel - I am 21 months in and all I can think of everyday is being with my soulmate again just like the way it used to be 
big hugs
It is 19 and a half months for me losing my husband it certainly has been an up hill struggle but like you said Allen2 as hard as it is you just get on with the day but missing and thinking about your loved one all the time then all of a sudden you get knocked back it comes from nowhere and the tears come you just have to get back up and carry on as hard as it is I myself have had to go back to Bereavement councilling as the outcome of losing my husband I now suffer with anxiety I wish like everyone else we could have them back I miss him so much but the thing is I wouldn’t want him to suffer as he did and I tell him everyday I love and miss him take care
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Im only 8 weeks in losing my beloved husband to cancer, im now on antidepressants and dont go out unless i have to, im struggling without him and just want to be with him
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It is so, so hard. We can only face it one bit at a time. It’s so difficult to do all the things that you’re advised to do to make yourself feel better, when all you want to do is stare into space and rock backwards and forwards. I found Richard E Grant’s late wife’s advice of finding a pocket of happiness in each day helpful – it may help you. A bud in the garden, a walk with my dog, a beautiful night sky – just something to relieve the misery, even if just for a few seconds.
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For me having help from a Bereavement councillor is helping me cope a little bit remembering things that were suggested to help get through each day and NHS Talking therapies has also helped as I now suffer from anxiety from losing my husband and because I have such a lot of time on my hands I started over thinking which made things even worse so I’ve been given help how to control my thinking, all this is helping me but it’s not for everyone we are all trying to cope in our own way getting up as hard as it is in a morning is your first step I was told and each thing you do is another step forward nothing wrong with crying every day I do but that’s because you loved and still love them I wish you all well and hope eventually you find some comfort I’m trying very hard I do have hope
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