its been 6 months now

So its been just over 6 month now and I’m no closer to feeling anything like normal,
I’ve had good days and some really really bad days. I do talk to my wife a lot and she talks back in my head but I feel so lonely, lost and guilty for still being here. I cant but feel like a burden to my friends and family. they have all been wonderful but its not the same as having Melissa next to me. she was my world and I have no idea how to move on or even if I want to? we had a wonderful 25 years but it should have been more, she was only 44


I’m just about at 6 months now and in many ways it seems worse now, perhaps it’s the reality hitting in? She was so young, that must be really hard for you. My Keef was 63 and we’d been together for nearly 44 years. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone, when you loose your other half the pain is so hard. I know what you mean about not burdening family and friends, I also miss having him to talk to and feel so alone, despite family and friends. Hopefully one day we’ll be able to look back with a smile rather than remembering how awful we feel now.


I am hoping so and thank you for your kind words, I keep being told is gets easier but im really not sure

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I know, it’s so hard to see beyond this darkness at the moment xx


It is hard when the love of your life passes away. I am only 12 weeks on my journey.
I keep busy trying to go out shops walks but as soon as i get home it hits me and i am alone i my own space we were married 35 years and our anniversary in 2 weeks (not looking forward to that day)
Everyone is going through the same sad times. I try to keep all the good memories in my head but this brain fog seems to be taken over. Losing items unable to concentrate no sleep little food.
Everyone seems to be feeling the same during this new life we have to endure.
Take care x


My partner died in January. Sudden and unexpected at 49. Life is certainly cruel and unforgiving.
I talk to my partner and keep a diary, where I put in everything that I would talk to him about. I call it my morning or afternoon or evening chat, although I’m sure he wouldn’t always want to be present with some things I say lol.
I have good days and I embrace the bad days. Sometimes I feel things brewing, so on goes the celebration of life music and I let it all out.

I take each day as it comes and I don’t look into the future, that hurts. Just take it easy and be kind to yourself.

And if you’re friends are true friends, they will want you to lean on them. Let them look after you.


I’m so sorry for your loss. My partners been gone 18 months. We were together 28 years. Second time round for both of us. She was 65. Cancer.I thought she’d be cured but as often happens it spread until she’d lost so much weight there wasn’t anymore they could do. She suffered dreadfully with the treatment for a year before she was told that was it. She bravely accepted the inevitable while I secretly fell apart. I’ve got friends and family that
regularly call and see me but like a lot of us ,I’m sure, I spend a great amount of time by myself especially in tbe evenings. I’m afraid for me it hasn’t got much easier. When I’m with other people I’m ok but when I’m alone all tbe memories flood back and I’m in tears. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.It just seems never ending.


@peterj so much of what you say resonates with me. I also lost my husband to cancer with the last few weeks being very traumatic. I’m only 18 weeks on this journey and hope that time helps us accept. Sorry I can’t offer any help. This forum has been a huge comfort to me. Take care


thank you, its not easy at all. take care x

Melissa had Breast cancer, we had 9 month and then she was gone. yes it all the alone times and seeing people walking hand in hand down the street that’s so hard. I’ve had to change thing and move stuff about. I had a fall a few weeks ago and the pain I was in was a relief(i know that sounds odd) I cant go some places at all with out seeing her standing there. i keep thinking what’s the point now!


Sorry Peter
I know exactly how you are feeling and i am sure everyone here agrees that it is not hoing to be an easy journey for us.
My husband passed away very suddenly with no symptoms. We both managed to survive cancer during covic. I am still on10year plan but 2 years in and consultant pleased with results so far.
Unfortunately i am stressed regarding his death but i must go on.
Life is short and who knows what is around the corner. Your wife,my husband would want us to live on with our memories.
We need to all keep in touch talk listen
This website is very good. Most of the feelings we read about all sound similar to our own grief. Please look after yourself.