It's been 6 months

Gosh! Where to start!
My amazing courageous mum lost her battle at Moggerhanger 6 months ago on the 20th May, after an 8 year battle with PPC, 8 rounds of chemo over the years, various trials and a kick cancers butt attitude made us all believe she would always be here.

I just miss her, simple as that, every day.

I have had battle after battle with a so called family member that cared not one jot of my mum, only what she was to ‘leave’

I dont think this has helped the grieving process and in the last week or so i am reliving every second of hers and indeed ‘our’ time in the hospice; 9 days in all, the guilt i feel is hideous, i encouraged her go in, for pain and meds management, quickly i knew she wasn’t coming home, she was a tough one, kept asking when she could go home, the doctor (beautiful kordelia (wrong spelling!) is) told her she probably wouldnt… I still see mums face as she asked me if i knew.

I will forever be greatful, thankful, humbled, amazed and in awe of the staff and care we all received at the hospice, but i want my mum back now, 6 months without seeing or talking to her is just too long and too much.

Hello Nicky, firstly I want to welcome you to our Online Community. I hope that by sharing your personal story with others who have been going through the same painful grieving process, you will find some comfort from their thoughts and messages to you.
I am sorry that you are still feeling guilty about your wonderful mother going into the hospice, where she spent her last few days. It must have been such a difficult time for you, but I am sure she treasured you being there with her, and appreciated how caring the staff were.
From what you say, you had a really special bond with your Mum, who sounded like a strong, courageous lady.
I am thinking of you Nicky at this sad time in your life. Kind regards, Jackie

Hi Nicky,

I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your amazing mum. You must miss her so much.

I just wanted to point you in the direction of some other members who’ve also lost their mum or dad - here are a couple of recent conversations you could check out and reply to if you feel it might help:

I echo what Jackie has written in her lovely message - guilt is a really common part of grief, but it sounds as though you were a great support to your mum.

Sorry to hear that you are having these issues with a family member - that sounds really tough.

Have you had any bereavement support? As your mum was in a Sue Ryder hospice, I know that they do have this on offer for family members.