Alan,
I still travel this journey that I wish was untrue
Life doesn’t sparkle it’s lost all of its charm
I wish I could hold you once more in my arms.
Each day and each night I am longing for you
I imagine forever that’s all I can do
As I wake to face a new day
Pain is what greets me it won’t go away.
Sadly it’s four years now and my heart hurts the same
Time will help heal or so they proclaim
I just won’t believe that someday I’ll be fine
I know how I feel, it would just be denying.
Truth is I know tears forever will flow
I’m so tired of hearing it’s time to let go
They haven’t a clue this pain is in my heart
I guess I’ll pretend and wear this tight mask.
I’m so tired and weary, grief is a hard task.
xxxx
Good morning, i don’t really sleep that much. It will be five years this month that my wife died and i still have private moments when i cry, but its not about me, this is for you. I haven’t been in this group very long then a person posted they don’t open the curtains anymore. Well i said i am the opposite i almost never shut mine, i like to see the people outside wishing i could speak to them or just one of them would be nice, but i was honest i leave the curtains open just incase she comes driving up the drive even though i know she won’t. The advice i gave was " small steps, just open them a little bit more each day" and it worked for them, but the kicker came as a complete surprise to me, when they replied that today i fully opened the curtains, well that’s the first time in almost five years I’ve closed mine. At first i felt a bit panicky but i then also felt warm and happy. I took some of my own advice, you see four years, five years it doesn’t matter, it will i found get better but the memories will always stay. Small steps.
r-gardener.
Thank you for your much appreciated response.
Although four years have passed the tears haven’t, some days they are worse. I thought things would get better and the pain and heartache would be less with time. How wrong I was. I miss him more each day.
Sorry for the loss of your dear wife. I hope you are coping well.
Take care. x
I’m so sorry and sad that you’re dealing with this. Believe me, I feel you. I’m going through the exact thing. It was 3 weeks yesterday and I relive that morning over and over and over in my head.