I lost my mum when I was 25, over a three month time frame. It’s been 13 years. Since then, I’ve met my partner, bought a home, we got a dog and have had two beautiful little girls. And I feel the loss more now than I ever have. It’s mind blowing to me how I’ve managed to keep breathing let alone everything I’ve accomplished. I’ve always told myself that I’m living for her now so have to live hard and make her proud. But I’m tired, and I’m missing her and grieving the life we should have had, the one we talked about. Her being a Grandma. I wasn’t supposed to do this without her. I can’t do it without her. I need her! I am finding myself resenting friends that have their mum’s and family around, and I hate myself for it. I can’t relate to them and sometimes just can’t be around them. Because they don’t understand. I dont have siblings or any family that live in this country. I look after and care for my Dad who doesn’t like talking about grief or anything that might make us sad. I am so angry that she’s gone while trying everyday to be grateful for what I have and the memories. But 25 years wasn’t enough!! I am grieving more now than ever!
Hi Dommie, so sorry for the loss of your mom,..when we lose a loved one I don’t think we ever get over it, and there will be those special moments in our life where we want to share it with our lost loved ones..and you now having a family of your own, you most definitely, want and need your mom, but shes with you, and im sure shes very proud of you for what you have accomplished,..take care, and may God bless you and your family. 
Hi - I lost my mother coming up to a year ago and I too am finding it harder not easier. FWIW when I tried to find out why this was the case I discovered that there is reputable scientific research which explains that later years (than the first) often feel harder as initially the sheer shock and the raw grief dominates. As time goes on the immediate shock dissipates and instead the scale of the loss becomes much clearer. This is why apparently often the second and later years feel hard harder than the first. I have found that at least having an explanation helps a little. I continue to find walks in green places also help and I talk to her frequently. I know she would want me to be happy and to go on without her and while that seems an uphill struggle at the moment my plan is to keep going and hope for better times. Hugs to all of us. J