Its getting harder to carry on without you

Losing a partner
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Pauline my beautiful darling its getting harder to carry on without you I’m missing you so so much I’m empty lonely lost nothing makes any sense without you my ocd is spiralling out of control my depression is getting worse I look at our pets and think they deserve someone who is normal and not messed up like me I just want to be with you babe I can’t do years like this I don’t want to I can’t sleep I have to force myself to eat I’m in pain all over I hate living without you I keep on trying for you and the babies but I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep on going life has no meaning anymore everyday is so long and lonely and pointless I just want it to end and I think to myself I can end this but then I look at our pets and think I can’t do that to them I can’t leave them and I can’t let you down so I have to stay even though I don’t want to I’m not living I’m existing and in constant pain my heart is broken you were and still are my everything I love you I want you back so badly but I can’t have you you’re gone but never forgotten

1 Like
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Hang on in there.
We all feel your pain and wish for you better days. There are no instant remedies unfortunately and the journey can be lonely. Take each hour one step at a time and make your wonderful Pauline proud of you.

Sending hugs :hugs:

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@Dee64 hi dee I am so very sorry for your loss I won’t give up I can’t our pets need me regardless of what I feel I have to carry on thankyou for replying to me stay safe take care sending hugs x

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Thank god for our lovely pets. I have a cockerpoo called molly and she’s my reason for getting up in the morning :dog: x

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@Dee64 definitely I have a staffy cross she is 12 and 2 cats who are 4 they give me a reason to keep trying

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Hello @Casey1
I’m so sorry your struggling. I can feel your pain and hear the love you have for Pauline. It does get harder at times, some days are worse then others, it was my 50th birthday saturday gone and for three days I was back at the bottom of the ladder, but I’m trying to climb back up, its hard work, but I have to keep trying, like we all do. Having your pets who love you and need you is your reason to keep going, they need you and your Pauline would want you to be their for your dog and cats. I’m getting a puppy soon, I’m looking forward to teaching her some tricks and once she has her vaccinations I will go on daily walks with her to get out of the house. I’ve recently joined a gym, I like swimming, then I have a coffee in the cafe and people watch, passes the time. Its so hard building a different life, the life I dont want, but we don’t know what is round the corner. Take care Casey.
Amy x

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@Amylost hi Amy I am so very sorry for your loss I will keep on trying I have to for our babies and pauline I’m alone most of the time and barely talk to anyone it must have been so hard your first birthday without your husband I’m sorry you are going through this heartbreak it’s our anniversary on the 17thof August would have been 21years then my birthday in September and paulines in December thankyou Amy stay safe take care sending hugs x