It's hard

In march I lost my little bro, and I talk to him every night but I’m finding it hard not to lock myself in the toilet and cry every night. I work with the public so I’m always around people that keep me occupied. When it come to going to bed and saying good night to him I can’t stop replaying the phone call I got in my head that was so sudden, he had a fit and then a heart attack and was gone just like that. He was only 26 and my little bro.

Hi Emma,

I’m part of the community team here and I just wanted to let you know that I have read your post and I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like everything happened so quickly and was a massive shock for you?

You might want to look at / join in with a conversation last month between Baggiebird62 and Janey. Baggiebird62 also sadly lost their brother from a heart attack.

It’s good that you have a distraction during the day, although I can completely understand that at night it must seem very overwhelming, without things to keep you busy. Are you getting enough sleep?

Take care,


It did happen so quickly one Minuit i was driving home from my parents then a phone call from my brothers gd who said “it’s your brother he’s dead” literally out of the blue. No I probably am not getting enough sleep. But my routine is all over he place. Would you have any suggestions on how to deal with all of this. Sometimes I want a punching bag and other times I want to curl in a ball in a dark room and cry. Thank you for replying to me.

Hi Emma,

It’s understandable that your routine and emotions feel all over the place after such a huge shock. When you say you feel like you need a punching bag, is it because you’re feeling very angry? It’s still early days, take each day one day at a time, and make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

It sounds like from your first post you feel better when you’re keeping occupied? Are there things you can do to distract yourself at home?

You might like to have a look at this page on our website:

I’m glad you have joined the community, you’re not alone here.