Its just not fair

Liverpool was my partners life and he watched every game. Last night his son came and asked if he could stop. As he was also a big Liverpool fan just like his dad I put the Liverpool game on and watching him sitting on the sofa where his dad sat it was so surreal that the similarities were there.
I found comfort in this but it was so hard the longing that Dave was here and my life was like it was before he passed away was unbearable and i had to go to bed where i could just cry myself to sleep. Life is just not fair why are we going through this pain. We had so much more we wanted to do with our lifes together and it has all been taken away from me. Its just not fair.

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I feel exactly the same, life is so unfair. My husband passed away 10 months ago on Saturday and the pain is getting worse, it’s becoming unbearable. My daughter is going travelling next weds so I’ll be completely alone for the first time and I feel in a constant state of panic. I’ve no close family left which is compounding the grief. I wish I could say something to help ease the pain for you. All I can say is that understand and try to look after yourself as well as your family xx

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@Lucy55 thank you and im sorry for your loss. I know that constant feeling of panic. I wake up with it every morning its horrible isnt it.
I am lucky to have family who visit and i have a granddaughter of 14 who lives with me which can be difficult at times as she is trying to wirk her way through this grief process.
Ecerything is so hard and there is no way for any of us to ease this pain except look after yourself and take each hour/day as it comes.

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No its not fair @Sue338 its not fair at all ! I am totally miserable this year ! I feel imprisoned in my own house because of the weather and i only got my puppy for company and it feels so very sad and lonely ! It is first time in my life that i ever felt lonely ! I never felt lonely with my husband here :frowning: x

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@Deb5 i find the loneliness really hard and even when im with others i still feel lonely. You are right when our partners were here lonely is not something we thought about. Even when they were at work or out we knew they were coming home.

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You are so right @Sue338 and @Deb5 that’s the difference, we knew they were coming home. I was always able to stand my own company because of that, but the loneliness and finality is terrible.

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It sure is love. I would sell everything i had just to have him here ! X

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@Deb5 i would too just to have them back here with me and his sons and grand children :pensive:

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Yeh i would live in a field just to have him here … ! He was only person i ever trusted with my heart … ;( bless him xx

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Hi @Sue338 so sorry for your loss. It’s so tough especially this time of year. I lost my husband Steve in September and miss him every single day, I’ve cried every single day. Steve loved rugby and I haven’t been able to put it on since he went. The way I look at it is I was so blessed to have had this amazing man in my life and to have known what true love felt like. Some people I know have never had what we had. Have you got support around you?

Hi @Helen24 im so sorry for your loss and Dave was my partner for 13 years i met him about 4 years after my husband left me and i got divorced. Dave showed me that i could be loved again. I thought we were going to grow old together but he didnt even get to 60.
I have my two grown up children and dave had two grown up sons. I also have a few good friends who i know i can call whenever i need someone to talk to.
I hope you have support around you. X

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Hi @Sue338 i was with Steve for 13 years but we knew each for about 25 in total. He was the love of my life. I have family I talk to on the phone and my stepson Ryan checks in on me but I don’t really have friends as we kept ourselves to ourselves. I don’t drive and most of my friends live over an hour away. I’ve always been an independent woman but I do get very lonely.x

@Helen24 i dont drive either and it is something i really wish i had done because when i feel being in the house is suffocating me and the loneliness gets unbearable it would be really great if i could jump in a car and go for a drive to escape the house.

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@Sue338 in a way I do too but where I live I can walk to work or to the town centre. I’d love to be able to drive to see my family though or just drive to our favourite beach. We had planned to go to Liverpool next year to see a comedian for our birthday. Also I wanted him to visit Birkenhead as that was where his grandfather was from.x