It's not getting any easier

I don’t really know where to start so will just ramble.
My Dad had been going downhill for a good number of years - mainly things associated with old age . He was in his 80’s
I feel like for such a long time i was just waiting for the phone to ring with bad news.
The inevitable happened in February this year . We got the phone call to say we had to go to the hospital but he’d already gone by the time we got there. The sight of him in that hospital bed haunts me .
The last few months have obviously been taken up with funeral arrangements and making sure my mum is ok etc.
Everyone says time is a great healer but it just seems to be getting harder. To begin with i had a lot of tears but then i felt like i was moving on but now the tears are back.
He had a good life and i know towards the end he hated what was happening to him and i know he wouldn’t have wanted to go on like that but it hurts so much.
I went to see him in the chapel of rest and that just traumatised me i think i have wiped that image from my mind.
Does it ever get any easier ?
I just worry how i will cope when its my mum or my husband .
I hate feeling like this

I lost both my parents my dad a long time ago then my wife passed away with cancer 13yrs ago ,sadly about 6mths after that my mum passed away on her birthday , people grieve in different ways ti be honest life will be a total blur no time scale on that im afraid people do say it gets better with time but do not hide away frim it tell your mum and husband how yiu feel right now ,sadly i lost .my partner 8wks now whikst on holiday in mexico the grief and love of losing my wife and mum came flooding back why me again

Please talk on here or family friends and tell.them how you feel.