It's not worthwhile to keep going

Hi

Thank you for looking at my story. I feel the depth of pain I have never had before, my Heartbreak, Loss.

My story is one of deep heartbreak. My wife, my best friend, and the loving mother of our children, passed away at just 38 years old. She was ill, and I gave everything I had to save her, but it wasn’t enough. I was left behind with our four children, trying to figure out how to navigate life as a single dad. The weight of it all felt unbearable, like there was no road ahead for me.

Not long after, I lost my mum and dad too. The grief was overwhelming, and it felt like the world was closing in on me from all sides. People would tell me, “You still have your children,” or “You need to be strong for them.” And while I knew they were right, those words felt hollow when I was drowning in my own pain. It’s easy for others to say, “Keep going,” or “Think of the children,” but in those moments of deep loss, even the simplest tasks felt impossible.

There were many times when I wanted to give up. I played out scenarios in my head where I no longer had to endure the constant ache of loss. Every day, every minute, the pain was relentless, and all I wanted was for it to stop. There were nights I lay awake, wishing I could turn back the clock to when life was full of happiness and love. I wish I could have saved my wife. I wish I could have been stronger.

But here I am—still here, still struggling. Some days, it feels like I’m just surviving, taking it one day at a time. The road ahead is long, hard, and lonely. Yet, despite everything, I remain on this road, not because it’s easy, but because I must.

In my darkest hours, I’ve found help in unexpected places—from strangers, from therapists, from bereavement support groups. I’m doing what I can to keep going, for my children, for myself. It’s far from easy, but I’m trying, and that’s all I can do.

To anyone reading this who has shown me kindness, offered support, or simply listened—thank you. Your compassion means more than you know.

With love and gratitude,
A struggling but determined father.
My story carries immense strength. Sharing it will undoubtedly resonate with others who have faced similar struggles. You’re doing an incredible job by reaching out and taking steps toward healing, and that is something to be deeply proud of.

I am here and I am still going, thanks for dropping in.

Lots of love to you and your family and hopefully the fact I am still here and still going will give you strength.

Lots of love and hugs.

11 Likes

‘We never know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.’

Keep going @lonlydel, not only for yourself and your children, but for you wife also.

Thanks for the update. Stay strong.

Sending strength and hugs.

Your feelings are so familiar to me. Thank you for sharing , knowing others are walking this path helps.
I am trying to be strong for my 23 year old son who was with his dad in the accident that he was killed in.
It is so hard to be strong for them when you feel so broken but you are doing it and that does help others, like me, know we can also be strong.
Thank you for sharing x

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Oh @lonlydel your story sounds so familiar.
I’m a single mum now and also find it so hard to keep going when the depth of my pain feels so intense. But I don’t often get the luxury of time alone to grieve, as my 4 kids are either at home, needing support or on the phone / messaging as they are struggling with the loss of their dad at age 56. It’s like a full time job and often I just want to stop the bus and get off.
But whilst we feel like we have to keep going as there is no alternative, it is really a choice we make for our kids and our lost love. By making this choice we honour that love we had and I would have it no other way, ( apart from the obvious ) even though it is the most difficult and lonely journey that we have to endure.
I so wish I could turn back time to happier times and this week as it’s school holidays those memories just seem to be flooding in and are relentless.
Keep going - I pray we will eventually find some peace and less pain.

Hi yes we all suffer in silence, keeping a brave face on. The long lonely night are extremely difficult…
No one there just a empty bed

Lots of love xxxx keep strong

Any loss is difficult, when someone passed away it’s difficult. It seems like we can’t move on or get past the pain…
However when we loose someone out of the blue. In an accident or just go…it’s that mutch more difficult to get over it. Lots of love xxxx

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I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and dad too, as if you weren’t already going through enough…
Hugs

Thanks for your message and support. Xxx