Its ok not to be ok

4 years ago my 28 year old son set himself free after a long battle with mental health i will never forget that night i still here my own scream some days are getting better but i fill the old me has long gone and this gives me guilt because my family have a very different me now



Its absolute ok not to be ok but said we have to feel this way :broken_heart:

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Hi yes its very sad i find the what ifs the hardest x

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Hi ya

I haven’t gone there i know if i did it would eat me up inside :pensive:

Its Libbys 22nd birthday on the 11th july and just the thought of trying to make the most of her birthday without her is going to be so painful :broken_heart:

So ive decided to make a special little garden for Libby out in our garden somewhere where i can sit and feel like im with Libby🤍

Ive bought a beautiful blue Bistro set and lots of other bits…blue was Libbys favourite colour :blue_heart:

I know it may be very difficult but try not to do the what-ifs … the way i try to see things is that Libby was very sad and she felt this was her way not to be anymore :broken_heart: :pensive: and know she is at peace and not in pain anymore.

Sending you lots of hugs and support always here if you need a chat :heartpulse: dont be on your own x

Morning that sounds beautiful and a loverly way to honour her birthday we have a bench in the garden painted west ham colours and a wall mounted flag above it daniel was a fan and all so have a rose bush memory spot the rose is called at piece and thats how i like to think of dan at piece the garden is my place i can go and lose hours just potting around and the same to you im here xx

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Good morning
Aww thats so lovely :white_heart: to have your own space cant wait to get libbys garden started :yellow_heart:

Although this morning im feeling quiet :pensive: sad its so difficult some days to get going ! And yhe hardest part is knowing we have to keep trying everyday just to put one foot in front of the other …but i will .

Hope you have a good day today :heartpulse: thank you its nice to be able to talk xxx

Be kind to you the days before birthdays and anniversarys are always that much harder but your get though them we need to be proud of how we do carry on and keep there storys going and its ok to fill sad :heart: sending hugs and strenth for the day xx

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Aren’t they !!!

Dont know about you but i prefer to be on my own on Libbys birthday hate to inflict my sadness on other members of rhe family it makes me feel very quilty.

So im going to go for a long walk soon get out into the fresh air !!

Thank you :heart:

We spent dans with his brother and 2 sisters and there children it was in april and as always very emotional i just drifted through the day if that makes sence the last time we all spent time with him was a bq for his birthday 2019 then :broken_heart: in may that year but im glad the last happy memories we had was all together
A nice walk sounds good its cloudy and wet here so a day indoors for me but i will keep bissy thats just me i hate sitting still
Hope your walk is refreshing

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That sounds beautiful :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Libbys brother is in Ireland jack will be 21 in October 🩵 im going over the end of july but im in hospital the day after libbys birthday so i won’t be able to spend it with jack :broken_heart: which will hurt !

But i will have her garden done so ill have somewhere to sit and have a good old chat with Libby maybe pop a bottle of prosecco or raise a bottle of cors that was libbys tipple :grin:

Its a bit dull here today but the fresh air will be nice xx

Ye just sit in peace in your loverly garden with happy memories and chat away and deffo raise a glass
Dans my youngest for ever 28
He has 3 boys :broken_heart:
Then i have nicole 35 she has 3 boys
Then jamie 37 he is back living at home with us at present
Then michaela 38 she has 2 girls 2 boys her eldest daughter has 2 little one so i have 11 grandchildren and 2 great
Wow that makes me sound old
Ha ha im 55 i was a young mum had michaela at the age of 19

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Oh wow !!! You must be kept busy :grin: thats so lovely you have a big family :heart: and yes so young :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Im 52 long story short… i lived in wexford Ireland for 20 years with my then husband (who luckily we are still friends) Libby and jack our children :heart: there is only 15 months between them which has made it so hard on poor jack.

So October 21 jack was struggling and wanted to come back to England and stay with my sister for 6 months …he wanted me to come back with him all my family are here in the uk so we had lots of Discussions that i would probably stay…but in the hope jack would.

But he decided to go back for Christmas that year and he stayed…so im here and jacks in Ireland :smirk: but i had to let him have his space and find himself and grow as a person…its the hardest thing loosing libby and being apart from jack :sleepy:

But what can you do so im always back and forth to Ireland :ireland: but we do alot of texting as you know at that age kids are Allergic to talking to their mam and dads :upside_down_face:
So hopefully he’ll come back round soon :pray:

Im so glad you are surrounded by so many your family sounds beautiful :heart_eyes: xxx

Must be so hard for you but texting and face times etc are a blessing if only heaven had them .its so hard on everyone isnt it as a family we were all hit by the same storm but our paths out of it are diffrent as they should be i hate seeing how its affected them :broken_heart: me and my husband have been together since we were 13 it crused him he found understanding mentel health hard i worked in mental health for 8 years but when its your family its a whole diffrent situation hopefully your son will come back to england when his ready but your visits to him most definitely mean alot to him and i bet he loves his mums hugs :hugs: my names michelle by the way xx

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Hey Michelle :wave: lol…my name is actually Tina :smile:
great name my best friend in Ireland is Michelle :heartpulse:

Yeah its so very hard myself and jack have a great bond always had but im glad hes with his dad…hes a good man and a great dad!

Yeah definitely go on very different paths through grief…i had Counseling two wewks after Libbys passing and dont think id be where i am right now …it helped so mush.

As for john he has just thrown himself back into work…but my heart breaks for him as he found Libby i cant even begin to imagine how that must have been for him :broken_heart: and jack well unfortunately he went off the rails a few months after …which i totally get! But he was the strong one we let jack have as much control with the funeral arrangements as he needed. We thought it was so important that he did what he felt was right for his Big Sister…they fought which was quiet funny at times :face_with_peeking_eye::smile: but yet so close and Libby was definitely jacks rock.

Oh wow since you guys were 13 now thats a love story :heart: how wonderful

Myself and john were together 24 year’s married for 19 …but unfortunately life happens but im so glad we still have a good connection :relaxed: i have a new partner now and he is wonderful…myself and chris have been best friend’s since we were 16 libby and jack new chris when they were little…so funny how things happen in life.

I think between we could right a book :rofl:

Hi tina :raised_hand_with_fingers_splayed: its absolutely loverly chatting to you i had alot of support from friends after dan set himself free :star:but i think over time they dont no what to say which i understand there not sure it to speak about him etc but i love to talk about him he left a massive footprint and we was lucky to get him for 28 years
Im glad you have some one and freindships make the best relationships myself and mick are the best of friends :heart:

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You too Michelle :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: its nice when you connect with someone sad under the Circumstances …but good to have someone to chat who understands all the emotions!

Your absolutely right…one thing denis my Councillor said people’s lives will continue but they won’t forget! But even family dont know what to say sometimes …which i get too!!

But yep im the same Libby had such an impact on our lives and all around her :white_heart:

Its so tragic if only they realised how much they were really loved and how much they’re lives impacted so many :white_heart:🩵

Ill never shy away having conversations about Libbyđź’—

Lol…im a bit of an emjoi girl :face_with_peeking_eye::rofl::rofl:

Yes we are lucky to have partners who are also our best friend’s xxx

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