It's so hard

I’m finding it so hard. I lost my granddaughter in October 2021. She was 13 and a beautiful sassy teenager. She was hit by a car while crossing a dark road.
She was my lovely angel and we all had to go through the inquest and all of her anniversaries. I am finding it harder as time goes on I just want her to dance through the door and giggle. She was so well known for wearing sunglasses on top of her head no matter what the season or weather was. She mentored children and helped me in every way. Now I am spending most of my nights crying and having panic attacks in my sleep. I don’t know how to cope and I need help!
If anyone has any ways I can help myself please share them.
I can’t ask my family as Her mum and dad got to the scene and held her while she passed away. I am trying to be strong for them but on my own my heart is breaking.
Thank you

@ellalouise4, I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your granddaughter. I can hear the heartbreak in your post. It sounds like you’re looking for support and I am glad you have reached out.

You’ve asked for ways to help yourself so I wanted to share some resources with you that you might want to explore. Child Bereavement UK have a page on coping with the death of a grandchild. They have a confidential helpline you can call on 0800 028 8840.

It’s hard when you’re trying to be strong but grieving yourself. You may wish to book an appointment with your GP and talk about how you’re feeling. They can refer you to support in your area. We offer free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat. This is a space that’s just for you to talk about your grief.

We also have a Grief Guide self-help platform. It has lots of information to help guide through your grief. It also has memory box and journalling features which many of our members have found helpful to connect to and remember their loved one.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Please do keep reaching out - you are not alone.

Take care,

Thank you so much. It is so hard and I am very grateful for your kind response and very useful information which I will certainly follow up. Its the evening loneliness that’s the worst as your mind works overtime.
Louise x

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