I've changed since losing Dad

I lost my Dad 22nd July 2020 - Prostate and Bone Cancer. It was sudden. Doctors had told him 2 weeks before that the new medication he was on was controlling things. Ever since his death I’ve gone through EVERY emotion.Anger mostly though. I have lost all patience for everything. Snapping at everyone. Wanting to be left alone. Is this normal nearly a year after his death? I know everyone is different but has anyone else felt like this? Thanks x

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I cant say if its normal to you as everyone is different in how they grieve and its has only be 5wks for me.
All i can say is they say there is stages to grief and the ones you listed are on there. Ive been though alot of these feelings too, i do find i keep going back to them, but maybe in time they will ease but i know they will always been there. Im just hoping the anger doesnt as i dont wanna find ive pushed people away.
I also feel i am a totally different person since losing my mum, other ppl might see me as the same but sometimes i put on a show when needes but i think if your finding you want to be left alone i would think this is what you need at this time.
Hope this helps in anyway.

Hi Jade I’m so sorry about you losing your dad. I lost mine a few years ago. I still feel like you . I think its normal to feel like that. Have you seen a grief counsellor ?

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No I haven’t. I think because of Covid and other things I’ve put everything to the back of mind. Trying to stay strong for everyone else and me. I think it’s bothering me more than I thought and I’ve only just noticed.

Thanks. I’m so used to having myself together and being strong and now I’m not so much I think I’m overwhelmed. Everyone is different. I think people think I’m OK but if I’m honest I’m not x

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It’s been 6 months since I lost my Dad and I feel like I have changed too. Although I am carrying on with day to day life it feels like I am waiting for something to happen to make things “normal” again. I guess there is part of me which doesn’t fully accept that he is gone. I think anger is a big part of grief, particularly if you feel others around you don’t understand how you feel.

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I feel you guilt is a big part to i just feel guilty doing things he liked and eating what he loved etc 11 months on i still can’t believe it x

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Hi Jade
If there’s one lesson I’ve learnt from losing both parent it’s that it does change you. Something in us is linked to each parent and I think you lose some of that when they die…I know I had the capability to be silly and carefree before my mum died, and I’ve lost that. Parental death does change us, for good…I waited to get back to the 100% Me and, many years on, it’s still not happened. I’m 98% there, but accepting that such a massive loss in our lives will change us - and that’s totally ok and understandable - is part of getting betterer (I don’t think we ever get ‘better’, just betterer than we were).
I am so sorry about your dad - do what your mind and body want to do, and if that’s being alone or screaming, that’s cool xx
Catriona

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