It’s coming up to 4 years since I got home from the hospital, opened my front door and thought “She’s not here, and never will be again!”
We all have lives which will change hugely. We don’t know what they be, though.
I was adrift!
A lady I met said "Well, how do you want it to be? . You have the opportunity, probably the last one, to make it just as you want it to be. I looked at it as the (maybe the last) chance to write the plot for the next chapter of my life. The headings included relationships, friendships, finance, house, holidays, hobbies etc. I didn’t get it right first time, so about draft 7 it was complete. They all had to be future-looking. Some were challenging, but all achievable. It provided me some structure to guide me.
Looking back after 4 years, I see I’ve built the life I wanted. I’ve had dark, desperate days, but I’ve always got back on the road I chose.
Are you familiar with wabi sabi, an artistic technique to not just repair but enhance. Such as filling cracks with gold and gems. Also an Asian technique of mending to make beautiful works in cloth: Sashiko. Reinforcement like this is also used in sailing. You dry dock and clean then reinforce and enhance and that boat already knows how to sail it just needed some help and a captain and some strong cloth. Thank you for posting this it has prompted healing for me. Ahoy.
Hi @CCAZ. I’d not heard of that technique.. When we start our recovery, we hardly believe we can just survive and no more, and just want to get by. But there’s no reason why some things shouldn’t be BETTER, when we have the chance to do it.
Some new parts of my new life are far better, but not all parts. I never realised it! Thankyou. It’s not disrespectful to my wife, if the situation was reversed, I’d love her new life to be fantastic 
Love to Peppy, sounds like one spoilt bird