Going through various things yesterday, I came across the words my son had written for the vicar to read at Jackie’s funeral.
I’m sure he had sent them to me beforehand, but to be honest, I have no recollection of ever seeing them. Had I done so, I would probably have corrected the odd mistake, including the date I joined the RAF. It was 1971, not 1970.
But what strikes me most is that I have absolutely no memory of hearing those words at the funeral and perhaps that is understandable.
My eyes were fixed on Jackie’s casket. My arms were around two of my granddaughters, and my ears were closed to everything around me.
I was there, but in some strange way, I wasn’t.
The words were being spoken, memories of Jackie were being shared, and people were saying things that mattered. Yet none of them reached me. At that moment, there was only Jackie, lying there in front of me, and the unbearable reality that she was gone.
Now, over 18 months later, I can finally read the words my son wrote; words that were spoken on a day I cannot remember hearing them.
It is a strange thing about grief. Sometimes the mind protects us from what the heart simply cannot bear.
Jackie
Born to Ray and Lena in 1948, brother Barry born several years earlier. For various reasons, born in Corsham but the whole family lived and grew up in Rogerstone. Mothers side of the family from Abertilllery
Attended Bassaleg Grammar School 1959-1964
Studied qualifications at Clarks Secretarial College, Cardiff
Started working career at Standard Telephones, Newport
Was grudgingly persuaded by friends to enter Miss Rogerstone 1965.
In 1965, after John’s band, Pieces of Mind, played at the St John’s church hall, Jackie presented John with a raffle prize of a large tube of smarties
Married John in 1967 at St John’s church, Rogerstone
Lived in Rogerstone, son Mark born in 1969
John joined the Royal Air Force in 1970, which meant relocating every few years around the UK and even several years living in Germany.
Daughter Emma born 1972.
Despite constant relocations, still managed to maintain a successful career as an Executive Assistant/PA to senior directors, while bringing up 2 children.
Several years after John left RAF, moved to Northamptonshire to be closer to granddaughters Megan and Ceinwen.
In 1999, took career break to start establishing new home, helping bring up granddaughters (weekday childcare while their mother worked) and raising puppies
Loved building and maintaining a beautiful garden, including growing vegetables, trips to gardens and gardening shows
After retirement, over last 15 years, also developed a passion for:
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Going to music concerts such as Take That, Michael Buble, One Direction etc
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Learning to play almost every Nintendo game, especially beating granddaughters Megan and Ceinwen at MarioKart
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Singing along to Songs of Praise
In later years, when granddaughter Aoife was born, took a keen interest in Aoife’s upbringing. Grandson Evan born in 2023. Even though Nanny was finding mobility difficult by this time, still made every effort to spend time with Evan.
While some of us knew how ill Jackie was, a sudden deterioration in March 2025 cut short our time together.
I can now cry tears I held in on that day in April 2025 
My beauty Queen 
