I am so sorry for everyone’s loss.
My lovely Mum died three weeks ago because of leukaemia and I can’t imagine ever adjusting to the world without her in it. She will always be with me in my heart and my memories but it’s the little things that will get to me. Like when the first snowdrops and daffodils appear next year (her favourites).
It’s aways been Mum and me (my father left us when I was 4) and she tried to be both parents for me in one. She was so full of life and mischievous laughter throughout my life. She had great big green eyes and was called ‘Jenny, Jenny cats eyes’ by friends.
Mum was so brave and never complained about her illness. She was more worried about what would happen to me after she passed. We were the only family left and I feel rudderless and vulnerable without her. Silly, I guess, as I’m not a young man anymore.
Mum battled leukaemia for 14 years and we both thought she would be home from hospital for Easter. Sadly, the bloody cancer had other ideas and it took her from the world (and me) the very next day.
Since that day, I haven’t been sleeping but I make sure that I eat (without any appetite) as Mum would want me to look after myself. Boy, would she tell me off if I didn’t.
I know that I will always be her little boy, even if I live to be 90.
Jenny will always be the Mum that protected me and made me feel safe.
She wasn’t just my Mum, she was by best friend and she was the best person I’ve known. I wasn’t ready lo lose her… I never would be ready.
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Hi, I am so sorry about your mum, she must have been extremely brave during those 14 years and it must have been a shock when she had to leave. It really doesn’t matter what age we are we are still mummy’s child and that will never leave you.
Keep those beautiful memories of her eyes and things she did and said, they will help in the month’s ahead.
I love your post name, is there a a Finnish connection?
I know the community will support you through this awful time and you are right about eating and not having any appetite and that sleep doesn’t always come. Take care and remember we are always here for you. S xx
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Hi Susie,
Thank you for your lovely message.
Finding this community has been a real help during a horrible time. Grief is scary and I’m at the start of a difficult journey. I don’t feel as though I’m facing this all alone now and people are out there that understand and care.
No Finnish connection - just a love for the books. A childhood favourite. xx
Hey @Moomin - sorry for your loss. It’s tough. I am in no means sexist but as men we do grieve slightly differently I think because society has different expectations of us. It’s tough. Really tough.
I’ve definitely found these forums really helpful. Although it’s horrible to think of all the loss that’s gone on it’s good to know that you are not alone and there are others out there that do want to help. It also makes me feel like there’s no pressure here to pretend I’m coping if I’m not.
My mum (or Mam as I called her half the time because I’m Welsh) died in March. I also called her Susan because she was also my friend as well as my mother.
Your mum sounds like she was a bit of a character too.
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Thanks for your message Ryan. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mam.
It really is the worst pain isn’t it? I know we only feel it so bad because we loved our Mums so much. A price worth paying!
Take care
Stephen
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Only asked because our son married a beautiful girl from Finland and until then I had never heard of the Moomins. The Finns are very proud of the author. Hope things improve and you regain some of your old self soon. S xx
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Hey Stephen @Moomin - such s good way of thinking about it mate. You’re right we only feel so bad because of how good our Mums were. And yes it is a price worth paying.
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