Jill

Losing a partner
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I thought the early years would be the worst and as time went on, things would get better. I am nearly three years a widow and I feel things are going from bad to worse.
I feel so sad and low all the time.
I try to stay positive but it’s so hard.
My kids rarely talk to me because of past problems, I have a sister but she just wants to talk about herself
I’m lost

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Hi @Jilly44uk ,

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us. Keep reaching out,
Alex

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So sorrt to hear this @Jilly44uk its really hard isnt it ? Im 18 months into this and theres nothing good about it at all ! Its devastating and it turns your world upside down. You take care and keep chatting on here where people understand you xxx

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I’m so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I’m. Just early in my loss journey but it’s been full of ups and downs - although mostly downs at the moment.
Our loss will always be present - I think we just have to try build a bigger world around it so that it doesn’t take up all our headspace.
I’m trying to meet new people and do some new activities so they won’t be associated with my old life. It’s hard but I hope it will eventually help me to move forwards. Perhaps trying little steps like that would help ?
Keep posting on here - we are all here to support each other no matter where we are on that journey
Sending hugs and strength xx

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Hi jilly & all
I’m new here & straight away I feel in a place where we are all in a similar boat , one we didn’t want to be in.
I know what you mean Jilly, nearly 4 years for me & I’ve suddenly been dragged down again, overwhelmed with grief. You are correct , it doesn’t get better & apologies to the newly bereaved for saying that. I do have good times, not all doom & gloom, just one big learning curve, step forward, then back.
Best I can offer is “go with the flow” don’t do what others recommend, do what you want & don’t criticise yourself.
Best wishes all

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@Zsazsa and all it is coming up for 2 years for me , and i have already posted that the mourning the loss of a soulmate doesnt go you learn to cope. This isnt helped if you do not find supportive people to listen when you are going for a bad patch. As the simple act of anyone asking how you really are sofens the gloom. I was reminded resently by a reverend friend that the queens mother said you learn to hide grief better as time progresses. True but it is so much hard work as you are battling yourself, and you cannot get away from yourself, especially when the other person was part of your physical and mental being. I do believe the act of writing down your feelings in a safe space such as this site lessens these bouts, so does crying release the anguish felt. In this journey i have found there are places you can physically go to or safey grief sites, which allow you to talk in a safe environment. The problem is with this digital existence is we have to battle internally to achieve this. Virtual hugs to all until they find a way of doing this via text. Allen

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