Joanie

I lost my husband Michael 10 months ago to Coronavirus, right at the beginning of it all. Boris‘a first lockdown came just too late for us. He suffered so badly, fought a long and arduous and lonely 21 day battle against this disease, was so terribly ill and I couldn’t be with him. I am heartbroken, he was my soulmate and my rock and we did everything together. He lived for his family and didn’t really need friends. I’m still not coping very well, it feels like it happened a month or 2 ago and I’m not getting any better. I miss him more than words can say and I am haunted by just how poorly he was and how he suffered to this awful virus. He was a good kind man who adored me and showered me with love and care and like one or two others stories I’ve read, nothing seems to have any point any more. Just getting through each day is a trial and I can’t see it ever improving, though many people say it will. I don’t think the Covid situation is helping as I have had to spend a lot of time alone and I just brood on the whole thing. I’ve even started to feel sorry for myself now, when all my tears before were all for my poor husband and the horrible death he suffered. Perhaps when we can all have a bit more freedom to move around, and I can see more of my lovely family, I may find some solace but at the moment not much happens to improve the way I feel. FaceTime conversations with them doesn’t seem to help me feel any better.

Dear Joan

So sorry for your loss.

My husband died in a motorbike accident in September. I feel the same today as I did then - infact perhaps worse. But I do know that people on this site will listen and offer comfort and support.

I hope you get to see your family soon. Until then take care.

Sheila X

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Hi sorry for your loss to this virus. These lockdowns seem never ending. I also lost my husband March to cancer 2 days later we went into first lockdown. My husband was going to be operated on with Covid he wasn’t seen by his consultant in time his bowel ruptured. So many deaths with Covid my heart goes out to you. Also the people whom have lost partners in these lockdowns. I also feel like it was yesterday
Take care x

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Hello Sheila, I’m so sorry for your loss too. Until it happens to you you don’t quite get how awful it is , do you. It’s comforting to know that I’m not literally wallowing in my own grief and that I’m no different to any one else who loses their life partner. I keep saying I must get a grip but it just doesn’t happen at the moment. You take care too and stay safe from the Covid, it’s a horrendous thing if it gets you bad.
Joan x

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Hello Kim.
Thankyou for your message. It’s a comfort to know that I’m not just wallowing in my own grief and that I’m no different to anyone who’s lost their loved one. I feel I should get a grip but I just don’t seem able to.
You don’t really get how awful it is to lose your partner until it happens to you, do you. The impact on your life is just awful.
Take care of of yourself Kim, stay safe from Covid, it really is the most awful thing if it gets you bad.
Joan x

Hi Joanie I’m so sorry about your loss
My husband also died 10 months ago of covid during the first lockdown Everything you say is how I feel aswell
The isolation and loneliness is overwhelming and these months just seem to have passed over in a blur I don’t feel any better whatever that is in fact I feel worse as time goes on more tearful sad and lonely Phone calls and FaceTime with family and friends help as a distraction but cannot change anything I try to get out for a walk but it’s coming back to the empty house every day waking up and thinking another lonely day to get through
There really doesn’t seem to be any point in anything when the person you love isn’t around anymore to share your life with My husband was such an optimistic and positive person and I know he’d want me to be happy I know he loved me and have happy memories of our 45 years together but it’s so hard For others their life goes on but when your husband or partner dies your whole life is changed
Thinking of you in this awful situation
Take care
Christine x

Thankyou, thinking of you too. It’s like I can’t get a grip and I am sorry for your loss as well, I feel exactly as you’ve described and it is a comfort to know that I’m feeling the same as other people and not just wallowing in my own grief. We can but hope that it will get easier as people so often tell you,
Thank you so much for your message, I really appreciate it.
Joan x

Dear Joan

Thank you.

Stay safe.
Sheila

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