I lost my husband, and best friend suddenly on Valentines day. The last 8 months have been the hardest and lonliest I’ve ever felt. I go work come home and it all feels like a rollercoaster. My family are all wonderful and its painful to see how much they miss him too, I know they’re always there for me but I just miss him so much. I find the evening and weekends my worst times, we were always together, and the loneliness sometimes feels unbearable.
I have been having councelling and it helps to talk, just like reading this site does. It helps to know your feeling the same emotions and feelings as many others.
I know I will never be the same person I was, in time a new me will emerge, Philip wouldn’t want me to give up. People keep telling you it will get easier with time, I’ve yet to reach that point, some days feel so painful and harder than the last one.
So for now all I can do is get through each day as it comes along the best way I can. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel the way I did, its so hard i miss him so much, brokenhearted.


Hi @Jools4,

I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your Husband and Best Friend, but I’m glad you have such wonderful family around you. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep on reaching out.

Take care,


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Hi Jools, I lost my husband and best friend the day after you, 15th February. It is the hardest thing ever.
Sometimes I feel not too bad, then when the weather takes a turn for the worse & the nights get darker everything seems harder again.
I don’t think we’ll ever feel the way we did, everything changes forever when we lose our darling husbands. We have to learn to live our lives in a new way, but my goodness it’s so hard.
You are right though, your Philip would not want you to give up.
We will be ok hopefully, but, like you I don’t know how long it will take.
I find the mornings very hard…another day of desperate loneliness (even though I have good friends & family)
I feel as if I am just playing at life, not really living, just pretending…it’s hard to explain but I think you may know what I mean.
Brokenhearted is definitely the word. I hope our hearts heal a little eventually.
Thinking of you, take care

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Hi Janey, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, it’s a pain like no other. I couldn’t have put into words any better than how you describe your days. You go through the motions but it doesnt mean anything. I always feel like I have a mask i wear during the day and when I close the door I can let go again.
I think we have a lot of tears to shed yet it’s a slow painful process isnt it, I’m not sure how or if I will ever get over losing the one person in my life who could always make me smile feel safe and loved.
Thinking of you as you go through the journey,hugs. Jools.


You’ve got it in one Jools when you say " the one person in my life who could always make me smile feel safe & loved"
Losing the person who always had your back no matter what is such a massive loss.
We were very lucky to have them, weren’t we?! xx