My birthday is looming, Sunday is getting ever closer. The family, hers and mine, are starting to gather.
I just don’t want to be a part of it.
It’s supposed to have been our day. We would have both been retired, and looking forward to time for us. All the plans we had. All gone.
I think I’ll just go and find somewhere to hide away.
Miss her so much, I’m just not complete anymore.
Sorry guys, I do try to stay positive, but this all too much for me.
Hi Ian sorry for your loss. Anniversaries and birthdays are so hard when we’re lost our soulmates it never gets any easier. friends just dont get it. Cant you tell them you dont want any fuss , i dont think people realise how heartbreaking these days are. Im also got a bad day coming up the 12th August will mark 2 years since I lost the love of my life and I’m dreading it. Dont make others make you do stuff your not happy with take control and explained to them how you wish to get though sunday. Thinking of you
I have tried to tell them. But they seem to think I’ll be fine.
Not so.
@IanP, Do you know what is being planned? Maybe if it’s a small family gathering at one of their homes, you could manage that if it’s for a short time. On the other hand, if it’s at a restaurant, I should be polite but firm and decline.
I declined an afternoon tea at a garden centre for my birthday, it made me feel ill thinking about it, fortunately my friends understood and we have been since,
Hope it all works out.
Thanks for that, I have no idea what they have in mind. But. Do know how they think it should be.
My mind just won’t let enjoy it as it was meant.
I’m just going to get up, go to Judith’s grave, and then just go anywhere else but here.
@IanP I know how you feel as I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday without my husband who would have spoilt me. The lead up to my birthday was worst than the day itself. I told everyone that I would not be celebrating my birthday as respect to my husband. I was left alone thankfully. What did upset me was people saying happy birthday and hope you have a wonderful day on Facebook. I replied that I wouldn’t be having a happy birthday and promptly deactivated my Facebook account. Just do what you want to do and don’t feel pressured otherwise. Take care and big hugs xx
Oh yeh same with me on my birthday ! I was furious when people sent the obligatory happy birthday texts ! As if all was same as normal ! People are so tactless !! Xx
@Hazel.1966. How upsetting for you to have such comments for your birthday on Facebook. It amazes me why people just don’t think about it.
My dear husband was was very seriously ill in December last year and friends and neighbours knew he hadn’t got long to live, and were wishing me a happy Christmas and good New Year, It will be the same this year, xx
Oh for goodness sake @Rome18 - thats ridiculous ! You know i shut myself away and avoided all my neighbours when my husband was very poorly ar home last december …makes me cry now realising i only had that short time with him ! Oh dear … i shouldve held him so much tighter !! i regret that xx
I know @Deb5, I repeatedly think why didn’t I do/say this and that. Dreading the whole of December and January, I shall hibernate under the duvet,
Yeh ! I was so stupid trying to be practical but i think i was scared too ! Scared of what i knew was coming ;( Im dreading xmas too ! I dunno how i survived it last year after he passed ! It was just awful ;( xx
@Rome18 just so dreadful that people are saying happy Christmas to you. How insensitive! I lost my husband one week before Christmas Day and the Christmas cards were replaced by sympathy cards which I couldn’t read or put up. Just dreading this Christmas especially the Christmas songs which I found emotional before my husband died. Xx
Big hugs and love
I know how you feel, Christmas was always her favourite time of the year. She always went way over the top with it. I really miss that.
She spent her last Christmas in the hospital, and because of the covid bull****. I was not allowed to see her, neither was anyone else. Likewise, for our 40th anniversary.
Now I’m just not interested in Christmas.
My husbands birthday was 2 days after his death. All the neighbours got together with me to celebrate his life. It helped me get through the day.
It was my birthday 4 days after the funeral . I couldn’t believe people were saying have a great day . It upset me more . The usual thank you message next day didn’t come obviously.
They just don’t consider our pain
@Jol just awful… people have no idea. Why would we be having a happy birthday without our partners so soon after they have gone.
Big hugs xx
No they dont ! I dunno whats wrong with people tbh !!! My brother said it last week and ive said it too in the past … some people are just " emotionally retarded " lol xxx
I am going to find it very difficult to know what to say at Christmas when people who know my situation, wish me a happy Christmas and New Year.
I have already mentioned to family and friends not to send me any cards … but they will. I am not sending any but donating to our local hospice who were a great support with home visits. xx
Yeh let them do what they want ! You don’t have to read them or take any notice of them ! Bin them if u want ! I tore up my birthday csrds from june the other day i think people maybe mean well but its the way they do it ! And not one of my cards mentioned my husband and was i ok ? Grrrhh … x
My brother in law was talking to me about a woman he fancies and said ‘it would be nice to have someone to cuddle in bed’ and I thought can you sod off because I’ve just lost my person for doing that with