Julie 20

It’s 5years since I lost my man , how do I stop being in such a hard place

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Dear Julie,

I know exactly how you feel, it will be over seven years for me and even though I carry on and do what needs doing on a daily basis, I don’t look forward anymore, in fact, I spend a lot of time thinking about what was, especially about when we were young and had just met in the 1960’s. It was love at first sight for both of us. I look in the mirror and see an old woman staring back at me who still feels like a teenager and who misses the love of her life so very much.

It will never change, I will always love and miss him. I no longer fear death because I know that one day we will be together again.

I don’t think you will ever stop being in a hard place because we lost the one person that made our lives worth living, but we are still here and have to carry on to the best of our ability and that is what I do. I know one thing, the light went out of me when I lost my husband and it has never come on again.

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I know that we will always miss our loved ones and need to find a way of continuing without them going forward but my question is how??

It’s so exhausting pretending that we’ve got this!! That every year it will get easier.
I too am not frightened of death anymore but how long are we expected to wait for that day.

I’m so sorry that you are both still struggling after all these years, and why wouldn’t you be, and at the same time it feels me with dread to know that it doesn’t get easier.

Love to you both xx

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I really understood how your both feeling ,
It’s like being on another planet. My outside self smiles , laughs and keeps on going but inside a part of me has died , we were married 40 years and I no no other life , I never wanted to be alone without my man and my grandchildren are my anchor to this life as I have always said they hold my heart while I try to heal :heart:. I know how lucky I was to have such a wonderful man ,and like you both look forward to one day being with him again,
But I’m going to try and make him proud of the life I will live alone until I join him ,

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