Today is our 16th wedding anniversary. I keep telling myself that it’s just another day like yesterday and the day before. We would have gone out for lunch and we had a short break booked next week, which I have cancelled. I am really trying hard to keep busy and not think about it.
There are certainly enough jobs to do and I can’t even blame my inactivity on bad weather. The sun is shining, outside at least. My eyes tell me it’s a lovely day but the rest of me knows that it isn’t.
Sorry, I am wallowing. It’s time to find the big girl pants. I am going to try and jet wash the patio. I hope, for his sake, that the postman doesn’t come whilst I am doing it because every time he comes he brings more problems.
Onwards and upwards. Xx
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Big hugs xx
Hi @Willow112 thinking about you today. Try and keep going that’s all we can do. I’m feeling low today. Having those feelings of what’s the point of doing things when there is only me here. But we have to try and get through each day as best we can. Sending a big hug.
Thank you for the hugs, it really helps.
He had a cardiac arrest in bed. I did CPR until help arrived. I went in the ambulance with him. When I went home there were medical equipment wrappers all over the bedroom floor. I cleared them up and my son put the bed back in its place.
I just moved a bedside table to reach a plug and found another medical wrapper. Daft, but it upset me. It’s certainly no substitute for a soppy anniversary card.
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I feel for you today, its the hardest thing to deal with, anniversaries & birthdays, you will cope with it in your own way, all of us on this forum will be thinking of you today, take care & sending hugs xxx
I decided that I wasn’t going to sit around and feel sorry for myself, I was going to do something useful.
The bird table was looking a bit sorry for itself. He was going to fix it but never got the chance. So, I found some exterior filler, couldn’t get the hang of the smoothing tool that can with it, so I used my fingers. Then I let it dry and painted it.
The wisteria needed support, so I found a mop handle going spare, hammered it into the ground and found some rubber straps to attach it to the wisteria trunk.
God only knows what my husband thinks of my efforts. He was a perfectionist, bless him. When he did a job it never needed doing again.
Still, the bird table and wisteria look better (to a man on a galloping horse)! 
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The best therapy is doing something constructive whether in the house or garden and you have done that and even managed a joke about it, well done you should be proud of yourself 
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Well done Willow today has been a bitter sweet day, we ordered some new chairs and a sofa they came today i cried 
because the recliner was for Gra as he gad bad legs.next Thursday my daughter gets married as i have said before i am agrophobic. We were both giving her away, now i dont even know if i can make it.then on the Friday it would have been our 16th wedding Anniversary. I dont know how to go on xxx
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Awe just all too much at once no wonder your overwhelmed,my heart goes out to you. Just take one thing at time and do what you can. I hope you get through this period in your journey and will be able to say at the end of it “ I did it, I coped and my partner would be proud of me. Take care and I wish you well xxx
Aww ty Geogi. I am really hoping so i am scared and anxious all the time. I have never felt so lonely.xxx
I feel the same, hate living alone, first time I have ever lived alone, married at 18 and married for 47 yrs till he passed 01/05/2023, a date etched in my head forever xx
Gra passed away on 17th june,2024. We would have been married 16yrs on thec2nd of next month. He was my second husband we met in a widow and widows chat room on aol. I lost my first husband when he was 37 i was 39 , this time it seems so much harder. While been married to Gra i lost my dad my mum and my youngest sister. He supported me through them all. But now i am all alone and the pain and the lonilness is unbearable. Xxx
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Hi Georgi, just had to grant myself a small smile and some tears,sorting out some very old paperwork I came across a document with a photo attached,it was the day my wife gave birth to our first child,the photo was of them and the document was the consent form I had to sign for any medical procedures as she was just under 21,so not only was I her husband but her guardian as well.
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It occurred to me that this day, our anniversary, will not be marked or thought about by anyone but me. It might be important to me, yet nobody else knows. He had no family, I have no close family except my children and I don’t want to always be leaning on them.
There was no funeral, just an unattended cremation and scattering of ashes. It was what he wanted.
It’s as if he never existed. When he was alive it didn’t matter that we had no social life or gang of friends. We only needed each other. I still need him. And I feel sad that not many people knew what a good man he was, or that he is no more.
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Hi Willow,I am sure people on this site will be thinking of you today,I don’t know you but he obviously must have been a good man,because of your grief for him,I would wish you the usual on a day like this but I don’t think it appropriate,sending you strength and support Ron.
Its tough when you come across stuff like that, its like being hit by a thunderbolt and takes you right back to that time, sad & upsetting but treasured memories though xxx
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It sure is hard and very lonely living on your own, I hate it with a vengeance ! In every nook & cranny of the house you see reminders of them, some days you can smile at those reminders but others you end up in tears !
I have no answers for the loneliness we both feel but we need to try to be happy, I feel it’s what they would’ve wanted but jeez its hard to smile some days, take care, sending hugs to you xxx
Thank you. The replies from the lovely people here are always welcome and a great support.
I have been feeling the loss more than usual today. He was a very special person, one of the good guys.
Everyone here has lost their special person, yet still find time to offer love and support.
Thank you. Xx
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Oh dear thats very early days for you, it’s all so raw, so sorry for your loss, thinking of you at this very difficult time. Just take it one day at a time sending hugs your way xxx
Ty for your support and hugs i need them all .this is like a nightmare i cant wake up from. I feel so lost and lonely and the one person who could help me is not here. Xxx
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