@Sevans77 I am so sorry for everything you have been through. You must try a stay strong, I am sure your late hubby would want exactly that. I tell myself that every day, it’s so very hard, Like you, I lost my best friend and it’s the feeling of loneliness and true loss that I struggle with. I hope the pain gets easier one day. Sending you, love, hugs and strength, you’ve got this. X
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I’m in my 8 months in my grieving process…and honestly it is worse now. Loosing my partner of 25 yrs was hard enough, plus my home, but now i 'm realizing than i lost a bunch of friends in the process. None of them seems to understand than i’m not the same person than i was, if i have a tears going down for whatever, apparently it put people uncomfortable and they rather to leave me alone, when i need them the most. So i’m going to that horrible process alone, only thing if i feel like crying or screaming , well i just do it. This is so a lonely process i hate it.
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Dear Maryse, I have the same impression. It is like I am having a terrible sickness and people are afraid of catching it. I am bereft and yes I am crying and act differently. I am not the same person since my beloved husband died suddenly this February. Neighbours just try to avoid me now and even his former colleagues ( we always support you!) and friends and his family avoid me. I am on my own. My GP prescribed tablets Sertraline, 50 mg but they take a while to kick in. I also was forwarded for counseling and just wait for someone to call me to make an appointment. Maybe you can speak to your doctor and he can help you? Sending you love and hugs.
Thanks! I like this website, as we are not alone to think the same thing. I decided that i d rather going my grieve alone than try to fix my friendships, i don’t have the energy to explain how i feel and obviously they were not real friends, they are just good to talk about me, instead to talk to me. The only hope i have, is if i get on the other side of that horrible tunnel we are in, i will be stronger for it, can’t really see anything worse than this can happen.
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8 months for me, and i think i’m struggling more now than 8 months ago. I found out that we are going in this ALL alone…the friends I thought were going to be there, are nowhere to be found. I’m grieving, i don’t have a contagious disease. All i’m thinking is maybe one day, i’ll be out of that horrible tunnel we are in and come out stronger, wishful thinking! Good luck to you, this is the worse pain we can experience, i don’t see anything worse than this.
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@Annaessex, you describe exactly how life is for me now. Just when we need friendship and some warmth from people, on the whole, it just isn’t there. We are really suffering and it baffles me most peoples attitudes. My brother is supportive and two friends some of the time, but others who I have always helped, have been distant.
We just have to soldier on as best we can
Sending hugs x
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Dear maryse this has happened to me my wife of 44 years passed away in October funeral was November haven’t heard a thing from her 3 brothers or family since the funeral it’s as if they think we have some sort of disease really struggling on my own with my own health problems and coming up to 70 if i make it i don’t think i have improved or got over it in 9 months sometimes think i would be better off with my darling wife
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I know its very tough and people just dont understand … how hard it is for us ? We live in a very incompassionate world these days … just look after yourself and turn ti people who care and understsnd such as in here x
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I used to think it was me and had upset people, but knowing I hadn’t. So, at least by sharing how we are being treated here, we know it is an unfortunate attitude to our grieving from people who we would have expected better. It’s a sad world.
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People are pretty pathetic in my experience ! Not everybody but a lot of them are !! Its a terrible thing that has happened to us and people seem incapable of showing their compassion !! Even some family members ! Its pathetic i think !! What a world … makes you miss you partner even more doesnt it too … Xx
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I miss my husband so much. Both of us were very helpful and compassionate when people we knew lost loved ones. He would be very upset with some of our neighbours and friends.
It’s obviously something lacking in their personality, I’m just glad I’m not like that.
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Yep same with us and my husband in particular …he was such a kind man ! Probably too kind because people dont really appreciate kindness really do they ? 
xxx
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No, Deb, they don’t, it’s all about them. I am sitting here, saying to myself, I need to join some new activity and meet new people, but easier said than done the way this grief is robbing me of confidence.
My counsellor is hoping to get some of her ‘patients’ to agree to get together, no more than eight at a time, and form groups. She has a lovely relaxing room where we could talk with people in the same situation, over a coffee. I am hoping it takes off.
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That sounds good 
i hope you get something sorted. I am finding counselling enough at moment but i know theres a group near me and i will see how it goes ? People just dont care that now you are by yourself and have nobody to count on do they ? Its just a terrible indictment of how society seems to have gone as you say its all me, me, me !!!
My brother and his wife took me for lunch yesterday and my mum been on phone last few days so thats been good ! But people just leave you up the creek without a paddle in general !!! I got my little puppy thank god at least i have her ! She looks after me better than some humans !!! Xxx
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I too find many of my friends who were there for me in the first few weeks after my husband died, have now disappeared. I would like to think I would be more compassionate than this. Only a few remembered my birthday - when I really needed them.(My first birthday since he died which I actually found very difficult) None of them phoned me - that would have been nice. Maybe they are worried what to say - but anything would be good. Maybe it is because they still have their husbands and they can’t comprehend how awful it is. How lonely it is.
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It’s very upsetting and unkind. I have been very saddened by what I have read on here, even family members not being supportive. At least two of my so-called friends have really surprised me, one in particular who I went out of my way to support when she lost her husband 18 months ago. This was even when my husband was poorly.
Let’s hope we can find some new genuine friends when we feel more like going out and socialising.
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Yep same here on my birthday in june too … and i agree with everything you say … so awful isnt it ? I dunno how so called friends or family can be so callous tbh … xxx
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I know that feeling I still cannot go to a place that my sister lives many many years ago and also used to go shopping there for years, I doubt I will be able to go back to the town my partner lived now. He lived very very close to a little shopping centre that I used to go to regularly and even from work, as I worked practically opposite. Well I gave up my job when my partner got sick. It’s so unbearably hard if anything it feels like the pain has even got even more tense on me. 
Susie. x
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Thank you for your reply, it’s been very hard I have to say, I’ve managed to finally phone my doctors today but without any luck of booking any sort of appointment, have to phone early in morning, I don’t have that much support atm, only my partners sister from up north, and his brother who doesn’t live to far from me, but he is dealing with it in his way, not my way, his quite direct and he doesn’t like it if you cry, or get upset, so I find it hard to talk to him at times; I’m thinking it must be an army thing of him just putting on a brave face which he does mention to me, as it’s not how his feeling inside they was ever so close, both my late partner and his brother was in the army, different regiments but both come from that background My Wayne was from Derbyshire originally, but both him and his brother settled in Essex, over the past 30 years, it was quite strange when my partner told me his brother was actually living in my home town and have since moved back here from living at my partners place which wasn’t too far, but I’ve found this recent loss of my partner so suddenly absolutely gut wrenchenly painful, I only lost my sister just over 5 years ago and that was bad enough only to go through it again when I thought life was on the up for me last year especially after going through such lows during covid, I keep saying please stop I really cannot take any more. 
Susie xx
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