Hi to everyone old and new people who have joined this site,
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, although I’m still struggling immensely with losing my partner so suddenly and so quickly, it really doesn’t get much easier, it’s a little over 5 months now since and all I keep thinking is I want him back, I’ve been back living at my place now for just over a month, and have started giving my place a refresh new colours and just trying to settle back into what my life was like before I met my Wayne, as hard as it is, all I keep thinking is why has this had to happen to me…! I was so happy and so in love, something I don’t think I had ever really felt such a deep connection before with anyone of my past lovers When my Wayne passed away in early February I found out he was going to ask me to marry him, of course I would of said yes, never been married before how heart braking was this for me on top of everything, he was the best for me, I loved him to pieces everything was going so well, it’s feels like everything is so pointless now and I I feel so lonely and lost now and just heart broken beyond belief, Life will just not be the same. Thought I would say hello as not been on here in few weeks, trying to keep myself busy as hard as it is.
Much love to all who is going through this and is still struggling.
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
I fell in love with my wife every day of the year for 44years know exactly how you feel and it’s a horrible feeling but still love her everyday been 9 months no all stay strong xxx
I know its really not fair when we loved them so much is it ? It seems so cruel !!! Im 7 months into this crap journey snd i am still struggling too ! Miss my husband everyday ! Like you say why us ? Why is it our lives turned upside down ? My husband said that before he went … he said why does it always have to be me … he suffered quite a few medical problems over the years but always overcame them ! But not this time. Its heartbreaking I know : ( God bless you … we just have to try to carry on as best we can dont we ? xxx
Dear Susie, I lost my husband also suddenly in February and cannot believe that I will never see or speak to him again. It is a horrible and lonely existence we are all suffering. Nothing makes sense anymore and the pain is overwhelming. Do you have any support? I am so terribly sad when I see couples going together shopping or being on the bus helping each other to get on or off. Sending lots of love and hugs.
I went shopping this afternoon and saw all these older couples shopping together - i thought how come they get to keep their man and i dont ? No fair is it had to take a deep breath in … xx
Hi Deb5 i feel exactly the same it’s now 9 months since my lovely wife died suddenly and i still can’t go in any shops store’s towns or villages etc where we used to go together i would get to upset and panic at the moment not sure i ever will stay well and safe xx
Dear Bill2, I am in the same boat. I still cannot go to our local Asda or Lidl. Aldi and Morrisons are not too bad because my husband did not go with me regularly shopping in these shops. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Hi annaessex i am in Halstead North Essex hoping to move soon to Witham near Chelmsford it’s what my wife always wanted to many memories here even though they are all good keep visualising her about the bungalow and garden i feel guilty if i do because she will not be with me i know that may sound strange what do you think ? xx
Whatever we do won’t feel right. In the early days I wanted to move but it was too much to handle. At the moment, I am ok here and feel my husband with me in the home we shared with the wonderful memories.
I am giving myself until next year to see how I feel. I hate the loneliness and would like an apartment in a retirement place, where one can have total independence but there are other people around to have coffee with, etc., if you want company. Also, where activities and trips are arranged.
My husband and I had discussed us moving to a local retirement apartment before he became too poorly to manage a move. I know that is what he wanted for me.
Time will tell.
@Bill2. I always stop and think what he would want for me, and I know that he would want me to do what I felt was right. To be honest, I’m not sure what’s right anymore but we have to go ahead somehow. I’m sure your lovely wife would want you to do whatever you feel right.
For now, I am trying to manage this dark and lonely existence as best I can. Some days are an immense struggle.
Sending best wishes.
I think it is a good idea if you feel more comfortable moving to a place you both like. We thought of moving to Dereham or even Litcham in Norfolk because we both loved that area but it does not make any sense to me now. I am not getting healthier and do not drive. I have corner shops, a dentist, a post office, a library, and a bus stop (buses to Lakeside and Grays) within 15 minutes from me and there is also a train station (C2C) with trains to London. Also, the neighbours are friendly and take parcels in. I also feel guilty when I want to take Dvds, or his clothes to the local charity shops. It is true whatever I do I always will feel guilty but I do have to de-clutter our house so I have it easier to keep it clean and get people in to make repairs. I am convinced that my husband would agree with me.
@Sevans77 i have so much empathy for what you say, I hate weekends and pretty much any time I’m alone, which apart from work, is most of the time. We did everything together and now nothing. I have great friends, but I do feel I’m a burden to them, I don’t want to be alone but I feel they are scooping up out of sympathy. I am so sorry for your loss as well, but this safe space and those on here have kept me going. Take care x
Sorry for late reply, This year has been awful for me, last year started a new job and everything was great… I’m only 46 and met the love of my life, so much in common, and before this had so much upset in my life…. It’s totally broken me, at times I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore… as my life has been Pain,Pain and more Pain, What have I done to deserve this, when others don’t seem to get half of this…… But thanks for your reply xxx
Hi Rusty, it’s awful isn’t it… I’m struggling atm, Very badly in fact… What I’ve had to go through since the beginning of this year, and I’ve lost so many people prior to me losing the love of my life. It’s awful.
Dear Susie, I saw a GP last Friday and she recommended me to a mental health nurse and also prescribed tablets Sertraline, 50mg which I picked up on Saturday. It will take a while before the tablets will kick in, but I do not mind so long it helps me to go through this nightmare. I hope the nurse will contact me this week. Do you have any support? I am on my own. I am 62, soon 63 and my beloved husband was 65, about three weeks away to turn 66. We were about 26 years together from we were 15 years and two months married. I also asked myself why this happened to us and what did we do to deserve this but I think that has nothing to do with punishment. Maybe it would help you to see your GP and get counseling. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
I’ve been back living at my place now for just over a month, and have started giving my place a refresh new colours and just trying to settle back into what my life was like before I met my Wayne, as hard as it is, all I keep thinking is why has this had to happen to me…! I was so happy and so in love, something I don’t think I had ever really felt such a deep connection before with anyone of my past lovers When my Wayne passed away in early February I found out he was going to ask me to marry him, of course I would of said yes, never been married before how heart braking was this for me on top of everything, he was the best for me, I loved him to pieces everything was going so well, it’s feels like everything is so pointless now and I I feel so lonely and lost now and just heart broken beyond belief, Life will just not be the same. Thought I would say hello as not been on here in few weeks, trying to keep myself busy as hard as it is.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
had to take a deep breath in … xx
at times I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore… as my life has been Pain,Pain and more Pain, What have I done to deserve this, when others don’t seem to get half of this…… But thanks for your reply xxx
