Just joined here!

I have just joined so please forgive me for any mistakes.

Btw I will never take off my wedding ring and keep my beloved’s ring on a chain round my neck so it hangs just over my heart.

Having said that we all grieve differently, my beloved Marian died 27th May, 2022 and due to cemetery staff problems was buried 23rd June, 2022.

I weep regularly and just feel so lonely without her. This 5th August, 2022 would have been our 55th wedding anniversary and I’m really dreading that date.

I had a spinal cord injury 30 odd years ago and since then we have been “joined at the hip” 24/7/365 which have been wonderful loving years.

I have found I read and when I “come round” 3 or 4 hours have gone past.

As it’s early in my bereavement so many things seems to trigger emotional waves that sweep right over me.

I am 75 and right now it seems impossible to move on, I know it’s very early but this is like waking from one nightmare into another.

Without my faith I do not know what I would have done to be honest, my bereavement counsellor started 2 weeks ago and is helping me .

Sorry for length of post, I hope me being here will be of mutual help somehow.

Shalom john (and marian)

I am a lay Carmelite in the Roman Catholic Faith.


Hi my names lyn, i have just joined to, i know what your going through i to lost my partner in april this year we were only together 7 years but it felt like forever he to was my soulmate and best friend, i cant stop crying everyday its not getting easier its getting worse, im so lonely and afraid i cant go out and i dont have any freinds, we only needed each other. I dont know how long i can go on like this.



I am so sorry for your loss and understand what you are going through.

For us it is very early days and it seems so raw, I’m trying to take it hour by hour at times it’s so difficult.

Tears are healing and for me a safety valve I’ve also read they are unspoken prayers when we are overcome by another wave of grief.

Little triggers are the hardest as they unexpectedly trigger another wave of grief.

I even have her dressing gown by my side and use her perfume on my pillow.

I pray you will grow a little stronger each day through these hard dark & early days.

I’ll keep you in my prayers also, john :pray::dove:


Hi I’m Jeff I’ve just joined about an hour ago

I lost my partner of 11 years on Monday and has hit me hard i was told it gets harder before it gets better in due time

Leanne was the sole of the party she liked having fun and a laugh, she hardly complained about anything she was my rock been through thick and thin and I don’t know where I would be now if it was for her

So basically if anyone wants to talk a shoulder to cry on or just to let out stress or maybe I can do the same I’m here,


Thank you for your kind words, it means so much to know other people understand the pain. im strugerling with my faith it seems most of my life has been a fight, since i was a child iv sruggled with loneliness and exeptance, every time iv found a friend or partner its been taken away from me one way or another. my heart and soul have been broken more times that i can deal with, i cant do this anymore.


So sorry for your pain.
We went through similar, 3 years after we married I had my first spinal Op. then 30 odd years ago an accident left me a wheelchair user but in all this our faith though shaky at times was a great help to both of us. Fortunately we both were in the routine of praying together at night before sleep something I now miss so very much.
Since my beloved died I cannot pray at 21:00 as we used to as it’s too painful and triggers tears so I pray on my own half an hour later.
We will never get over our loss of our loved ones but we can support each other as best we can.

Assuring you of my prayers, john

1 Like

I am truly sorry for your loss.
We all grieve differently but like you I have only known my beloved. We would have been married 55 years this August 5th which I am dreading.
She died on 27th May when I lost my heart.

We meet 3rd December, 1966 and I knew the moment I saw her she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I am grateful for nearly 55 years of joy and unconditional love but it’s made her passing so very hard.

May you find comfort and support on here for you also.

In my prayers, john

1 Like

We have a lot of similarities about our beloved wives.

She was my carer after my spinal cord injury and had to also deal with my Crohn’s disease. She loved life and I’m so grateful for every day we shared together.

It was a persistent cough just under 2 years ago led to a diagnosis of a cancerous nodule on her left lung. It was thought successful till 10 months later she had a major tonic seizure in front of me that lasted about 23 minutes (I suffer ptsd from that).

After more tests the cancer had spread to her other lung and metatised? In her brain.
The last 5-6 moths I cared and nursed her at our home in our marital bed as I promised her.
The consultant at Basildon hospital broke this horrendous news to her while she was on her own (I am just 20 minutes drive away)… I’m finding it hard to keep my cool at how she was treated and told.
Sorry your cancer has returned, it has spread, we cannot do anything for you and your treatment will be stopped (Immunotherapy after her conventional surgery and cyber knife surgery at St Bart’s). We will be sending you home for palliative care then onto end of life care,

I should have been called there when they told her that!

Having said that it was a privilege and honour to care and nurse the woman I adored all my life. She never complained once. It frustrated me that when I saw her “wince” and asked would you like some more oramorph she would answer “yes please”. I’d say to her “Please ask me when you are in pain my darling and need it” she simply said “I don’t want to burden you”, I wept often then and even now thinking about that selfless attitude however mistaken it was.

I now dedicate everything I do to her, wether it be cooking, washing or anything in the home as I want to honour her as much now as when she was at my side. I weep often and miss her so very very much.

I hold her in my heart and speak often to her, she really is the love of my life still.

May you gradually find peace and some comfort in these so difficult times you are going through. Tears are ok as is getting angry, whatever helps you get through this. Above all please be kind and gentle with yourself! Your precious wife would have wanted that for you I am sure.

Sorry for going on but please be assured of my prayers and the support you will find on here.

Kind regards, john (and marian) :pray:t2::dove: