Just lost my dad

Hi, I’m 49 and my dad just died suddenly 3 days ago. He was 85, he hadn’t been ill or anything. My step mum said he’d gone to the toilet and he was found dead on the bathroom floor at home. It’s so sudden and shocking I can’t get my head around it. I just feel lost. We can’t sort the funeral as there has to be post mortem tomorrow. I feel so sick thinking about him just lying there by himself

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum just over a month ago, so I understand the shock and upset of it all. My partner lost his Mum the same way many years ago. Take care.

Hi suze,

I’m 48 and my mum died suddenly on the 14th june. I am in still in total shock. She was 74 and in apparently good health, very active and my absolute rock. She suffered a brain hemorrhage 15 minutes after a routine operation performed under local anaesthetic. A post mortem was done which confirmed the bleed but was unable to say why it happened other than to say it was coincidental abd not linked to the operation.
You are very early on in your journey. The things hour by hour then day by day.
I’m sorry for your loss and the sudden shock.please come on here to talk as much as you’d like.this site has been a lifesaver for me in my struggle to deal with this x

Suze

You can sort the funeral by the way. I booked the funeral 3 days after mum died but made it for 3 weeks after her death to ensure there was time for a PM. Mums PM was only carried out a week before the funeral but it still went ahead fine.

Hi Suze
I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your dad. So many of us are going through this pain together and it’s horrible. I can imagine some of the shock you must be now feeling. It’s been almost 10 weeks since I lost my mum suddenly while we were all on holiday together as a happy family. Talk about extremes going from the best time ever straight to the worst time ever in the space of an hour. I’m still in a daze some of the time. I think back the the week after and it was a bit a blur and I expect you are experiencing an enormous amount of emotions right now. Everyone here realises how hard a time you are having.
I hope the pm is concluded in good time, luckily for us it only took a few days and didn’t cause any delay to my mum’s funeral arrangements.
Please keep in touch on the forums and look after yourself. My thoughts are with you.
Shaun x

Hi Suze
My husband also passed away suddenly in September and like you we had to wait for an autopsy to be done. I was very distressed with the way that my husband left our home. I asked for him to be returned to me at home as soon as the autopsy was done. Because a length of time had passed my undertaker recommended that my husband be embalmed, this was done and he came home from the Wednesday until the Friday morning when the funeral took place. What I did during the time that he was home was to decorate his coffin with copies of all the family photos. I talked to him the whole time that I did this and found that it gave me great comfort. It’s not for everyone I understand that, but it was right for me and a real bonus of doing this is that at the funeral everyone was drawn to the coffin to look at the photos of the wonder memories that we had.
Sending love and light
Diane

Thank you, I’m so sorry for your loss. I think I just feel numb at the moment. The Coroner said Dad had a pulmonary embolism but he’d broken his neck when he fell too and that is just stuck in head. I’m going to see him at the Chapel of rest with my sister tomorrow. I’m hoping that helps get the image of dad lying on the floor out of my head. It’s such a horrible time of year for me as it’s the anniversary of my baby boys death this week then Dad’s funeral next week.

Thank you for your reply, we ve got the funeral next week. I’m so sorry about your mum, it’s such a shock when it’s so sudden. People keep saying I’ll feel better after the funeral like that’s going to make it all go away. I lost my baby son 17 years ago this week too so I’m already a mess. I’m going to see Dad tomorrow with my sister at the Chapel of rest. I can’t bear the thought of not seeing him again or talking to him

Suze

I’m sorry this all coincides with the anniversary of your Son’s death too. Life is truly unfair.
I hope the funeral goes ok. I chose not to see my mum at the funeral home.i just wanted my last memory of her to be alive and happy.
Thinking of you.
Cheryl x

Suze, I’m sorry for your loss. I came across your post after scouring everything on people losing their Dad and I couldn’t believe our similarities.
Like you, I found my Dad on his bathroom floor too. I can’t believe it happened like that - alone. Dad was 64, and had Emphysema. I’m 27. The image haunts me everyday, especially at night. I’d love to be able to just get a nights sleep at a decent time but I dread going to bed and laying in the dark.

I too went through losing my Dad this year
It hurts to the core!!! You WILL find strength
To get through this- sending you prayers
Joady

I lost my dad 11 weeks ago and still struggle. Whilst he had suffered from ill health for a while he always got better. The last illness he just didn’t recover from. We were told on the Tuesday there was nothing else they could do and he passed away at home on the Friday. It was so quick. Some days it still doesn’t feel real and it’s a struggle most days. Here if you need a chat x

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