Hi guys I’m new to this I’m a 59 year old lady who has suffered depression chronic anxiety and ptsd for most of my life but on the 21st January my mum died I feel alone my feelings are scaring me I’m crying all the time the anxiety is so bad I’ve suffered bad mental health for 31yrs but right now I’m really struggling with my emotions and intrusive thoughts are beginning to enter my head any advice.
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Hi Lor
I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your mum . I too recently lost my mum and I also suffer with anxiety and depression and I know how scary and overwhelming things can be when living with poor mental health and dealing with such a trauma as losing your mum.
Have you any friends or family you can call right now so you can hear a friendly, familiar voice? I think it would be helpful and reassuring if a friend or family member could stay with you if you’re feeling vulnerable if at all possible.
Are you seeing a mental health professional such as GP or therapist? If so, could you contact them tomorrow to arrange an urgent appointment.
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Hi @Lorr20 ,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really alone and scared.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel a bit lost and not know where to start.
We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving, and it is often about wanting the person who has died back or life to go back to how we know it. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.
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Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, Lorr20, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Alex
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Thank you I’m so glad you replied to my message I’ve got my husband here with me and I see a councillor once a week right now I feel overwhelmed and alone in ma head with loads of negative emotions and thoughts and I’m scared the anxiety is winning at the moment I’m taking lorazepam to help my anxiety I just can’t seem to stop crying I feel so overwhelmed. Xx
I’m glad you have the support of your husband and you are seeing a councillor.
I too have been feeling extremely overwhelmed and very emotional following the sudden loss of my mother who was also the one who helped me with my mental health problems the most. My anxiety and depression has really skyrocketed.
Have you learned any coping mechanisms in your counselling sessions that you can put into practice?
Is the medication you are taking helping you to sleep ?
The councillor I have been seeing has told me grief is the price you pay for love and cherish the time and memories I had with my mum . I am trying to do that but feel incredibly angry how she was taken away too soon when she had so much to live for and seemed so fit and well.
When are you meeting with your councillor next? Have you spoken to them since you have been feeling this way?
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Hi my councillor knows I meet up with her on Tuesday trying to get through the days I do have other stuff going on which adds to my anxiety I just want all the thoughts and feelings to stop it’s soul destroying mental health I hate it’s like you’re fighting for that light at the end of the tunnel xx
Hi, it is tough, it consumes you, some days are better than others, and i feel you have to take one day at a time, and tell yourself you are doing the best you can, at this time in your life, i know people loose patience, everyone is different in their grief journey. I quit my job two weeks ago, i dont need toxic environments. So do small things, read a “real book” go outside, see the birds feel the breeze, look at the bulbs emerging, be kind to yourself. Take care xx keep in touch xx
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Hey Lor,
I hope today is a good day where mum is being remembered in all the good times.
I just wanted to reply to your post as I lost my mum in September after a really terrible last couple of years of real bad health.
I just wanted to let you know I am here for you!!
Lots of love to you! 
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Thank you Rach it’s horrible just struggling xx
Thank you Becca just struggling right now but I’m taking each day as it comes with all the thoughts xx❤️
Hang on in there, xx your not alone xx chat any time xx
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Hi @Lorr20
I totally feel for you. I lost my mum on the 6th january very suddenly. She had a fall on Christmas eve and was admitted into hospital when they told me she’d had a massive stroke due to head injury.
I lived with mum and am an only child so everything’s been completely overwhelming. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and although most of the people I’ve dealt with have been great, it’s been because ive suffered a bereavement not because of my anxiety.
One of my main problem is anxiety speaking to people i dont know over the phone and obviously I’ve had to do a lot of that the last few weeks and think i went into complete auto pilot as dont think i would have coped otherwise
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I feel your pain I know my anxiety is ten times worse because my mum has passed away but even without my mum’s passing I suffer terribly with anxiety it’s taken over my life even if you go see a doctor they put everything down to anxiety it makes me so angry xx💜
So sorry to read this ,life is cruel at times and damn hard im the same grief is hard x
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