Just lost my mum

After a very short illness i lost my mother yesterday. I can go on about how she was my whole world but everyone who has experienced this loss will know exactly how completely alone i feel right now despite my family around.
We really thought she had years left, and i cannot help but feel this is so wrong.
Today i am sat here after taking all the decorations down and ignoring the happy new year messages but also convinced shes still in hospital.
I brought her home on the 22nd December and cared for her for the last week 24/7. But all that time is a complete blank. I know we had Christmas but it wasnt enough.
I have no idea how to navigate this process
Im angry, hurt and guilty all at once aswell as numb. Is this normal??


Hello @Jo75

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling lonely even with everyone around you. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


So sorry for your loss @Jo75. I know how you feel. My mum passed away in September from cancer but it all happened so quickly as she wasn’t diagnosed until late and then had a stroke. It was awful but she was getting better and I really thought she could have years still to live. I’ve been filled with all those feelings of loss, loneliness, anger at the doctors, hurt, guilt for not doing more, replaying things and wishing they’d gone differently. Grief is a minefield and your thoughts and feelings can change daily, all of them usually tough and horrible and devestating. But I believe it’s normal to feel all these things. Your brain has a lot to process as losing your parent is such a huge thing and awful and heartbreaking to deal with. Sending you strength and understanding x


@Jo75 as @Woo4 has said, all of these feelings are typical response to devastating loss. Losing a much loved parent is brutal and you can’t anticipate how awful the grief is until it happens. I send you condolences because I know how awful these raw, early days are. Know that you will somehow find the strength to survive these difficult times. I am 11 months on from losing my Mum very suddenly and unexpectedly in January. It has been a rough time and I miss her everyday. Something that helped me was reading about grief to understand how it affects us. There’s a lot of information and advice available so take advantage of it. I have also found this forum to be very helpful as you read the posts and realise you aren’t alone. We’re all trying to manage life after loss and cope with it. Take care xx

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