Just lost my mum

I lost my darling mum 4 days ago and don’t feel I can go on living without her. I just want to be with her. I don’t know what to do.


Hello @scg63,

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I’m hearing how painful this is all feeling and I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s always someone out there to help you through this.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:


There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, @scg63, get in touch with one of these services.

Take good care,

Just wanted to say that you have been heard and that I can relate. I’m further along from losing my dad, but I know the feeling and how difficult it is to cope with. Do you have anyone you can talk to? This forum has helped me, so I’m glad you found it. No words can ease the pain and the only thing we can do is take it one minute at a time. Sending big hugs of comfort. :people_hugging::heart:


Im so sorry for your loss - i lost my mum 5 months ago and have felt the agony of feeling like part of your very soul has been ripped from you :broken_heart:

In these really early days, your mind and body are likely to be in shock. Be gentle with yourself - dont think too far ahead, just take it one day, even one hour at a time. Try and do just the basics to support your body - eat a little when you can (light snacks if you cant stomach much), sleep when you can and keep hydrated. If you want to cry/scream, just do it, but equally if you feel numb and cant cry, thats ok too and perfectly normal - everyone is different and there is no “correct” way to grieve.

If you’re employed a lot of employers only offer a few days bereavement leave. Dont feel pressured to rush back to work if youre not ready - go get yourself signed off by your GP if you need to.

Do you have family/friends around to support you? Let them support you both emotionally and practically - there can be a lot of admin in the early days when your head is all over the place.

Its a horrible, horrible place to be but please know you are not alone. There are so many people on this site who’ve lost a loved one and understand the pain you’re feeling. Sending you many hugs :heart::people_hugging::people_hugging::people_hugging:


I gone through that phase, understandable. It’s very hard to adapt to being on your own in so many ways. Especially if you have a lot of memories with your mum.

Im so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my mum last month and i can completely relate to how you are feeling.
Your emotions will be all over the place, just make sure youre kind to yourself and let yourself grieve properly… i felt exactly the same as you and just wanted to be with my mum too. I think it is normal to feel what youre feeling…but they would want us to keep on going, not just for them but for for ourselves aswell. Everyone deals with losing a loved one differently and there is no proper way to grieve…so ive been told. Im taking each day at a time and surrounding myself with loved ones (it doesnt fill that empty void of losing mum but it helps knowing you have people around you who care and can understand what youre going through) xx


Thank you so much. I am so lost at the moment. Thought my mum would live another ten years. She was 81 but the pain of losing her is so intense.


I completely and utterly relate. Im so sorry for your loss :heart:

Its been just over 3.5 months for me x

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I lost my mom in January and it still hurts as much now than the day she died.

She died of kidney failure.
My sister, brother and myself sat with mom since Christmas when she took a turn for the worst.
Everyday a part of my mom died.
Some the things I saw I can’t get them out my head. She laughed, she cried, she hallucinated, she cried with pain.

I lost my dad 20 months ago. He suddenly had a heart attack. I performed CPR until the paramedics took over. Images keep going round in my head.

This time last year my daughter lost her baby at 14 weeks pregnant. She had to go all through the birth. Watching her go through that was awful and with complications afterwards the worry I could lose her aswell

I have the most awful two years and I don’t think my heart can take much more.

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oh @FayDav I am so sorry what you have been going through, my heart just sank reading it. No amount of counselling or medicines will help when such things happen.
I lost my Mom in Oct last year at 2 AM, I was asleep and heard people shouting and I remember not knowing CPR but trying it just to save her but we were just late man. I still cry everyday and grief daily. I hope you get the strength and hope you have someone around to help you. Be strong, please reach out on DM if you want to talk


People tell me to take one day at a time. Some days are easier than others.:sob:

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I can understand and relate to it, even after 6 months I take one day at a time. I don’t know my future or career but right now focusing on myself, its been very traumatic

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