This is so hard,my mum died 2 days ago in hospital and I was there with her and watched her take her last breath,my world ended that night.
My mum had been quite poorly with her breathing and doctors gave her endless meds but nothing worked,she went into hospital and she seemed to be better and came home,a week later she was struggling to breathe again. She was told she had stage 4 lung cancer which was a shock as no one had any idea so it was a surprise,the doctor was very insensitive and said my mum was dying which hit us like a ton of bricks,my mum was terrified ,a week later she went into hospital again with her breathing and had many examinations,she got a bleed in her stomach,she was so weak and frail not the woman my mother is. The doctor said she only had days to weeks to live again another shock,I never told my mum that as she would of worried and get so scared so I kept that from her,a day later the hospital called at night to say she had taken a turn for the worse and to come in and be with her,my heart broke seeing her like that,she was asleep but was breathing and hour later she just took a long breath and stopped. My mum was everything to me,I was with her 24/7 as her carer and daughter,I’ve never been without her in my whole 39yrs,now I’m a broken mess,I miss her so much and I just don’t think I can go on without her,she was my everything. I know she had to go because her body couldn’t continue but the selfish side of me still wants her here,if I could of swapped places and taken her pain and illness I would have. Life will never be the same without her as a part of me died with her .
Hello @Cheryl85 ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Abi
Hi Cheryl85
Im so sorry for your loss.Losing your mum i know is so painful.I felt exactly the same as you when i lost my mum.Id do anything to have my mum back.I was 33 at the time it was over 3 and a half years ago now.My world ended when she passed.It is so physically and emotionally painful especially as its only just happened for you.I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but things will get a little easier as time goes on.Everything wont feel so raw and surreal.Just try to take it one day at a time or even one hour at a time and know whatever you are feeling right now and in the future is normal.
Take care and welcome to the community.People are always here to listen,you are not alone.
Oh my sweet. I feel you. Sending so much love. Xxxt
I’m so sorry for your loss. I too was very close to mum and her death was unexpected although she had been a bit poorly for a while with respiratory conditions, she was managing ok. We have since found out she had an infection and it was that which led to her death.
I sometimes forget she has gone and then it hits me. I was always with her, on the phone to her. She had great advice and was my support. My dad is struggling and we are supporting him which takes my mind away most of the time. It’s just so hard x
I lost my mum nearly a week ago and know how you feel , it doesn’t feel real you think I’ll tell her this and you can’t , she used to stay at our house to cat sit when I and my partner had to walk away walking past her old bedroom in the night it sounds like she’s still there there’s so many questions that need answering , putting on a brave face in the day time and you lose it at night , why does no one tell you losing your mum is the hardest thing evee
That’s so sad. I know what you mean about the night time. I have just been reading through all our text messages and I miss her so much. She was just amazing and although I knew that, I wish i would have told her more. You are right, I’m not sure people talk about how hard it is to lose a parent, especially when you are really close. Sending love to you
One thing I’ve found is how faced. Some people can be - all concerned oh I’ll check on you to find out what happened soon as they get their info you don’t hear from them or see them again
Part of me feels like I’ve lost the life I had my partner and I would go away and she’d cat sit. Or we’d go to a gig and she’d stay over till we were home the following morning there’s no one else we’d trust to stay with the cats especially as one is quite old
I feel I want to move away from the area away from the memories but my partner wants to stay put
I know what you mean about wanting to move away. I keep thinking that too, but I think the feelings will follow.
Do you have any family or close friends nearby? There are people that pet sit. Maybe if you get to know them and trust them, they could help.
I’m sad that you feel people don’t care when they get their information.
My brother has done in the past but he’s recently relocated so it’s not so easy for him to get round , they’re both elderly cats and one just panics with strangers and hides under the bed
Keep thinking I’ll wake up and it’s all a bad dream