This is so hard,my mum died 2 days ago in hospital and I was there with her and watched her take her last breath,my world ended that night.
My mum had been quite poorly with her breathing and doctors gave her endless meds but nothing worked,she went into hospital and she seemed to be better and came home,a week later she was struggling to breathe again. She was told she had stage 4 lung cancer which was a shock as no one had any idea so it was a surprise,the doctor was very insensitive and said my mum was dying which hit us like a ton of bricks,my mum was terrified ,a week later she went into hospital again with her breathing and had many examinations,she got a bleed in her stomach,she was so weak and frail not the woman my mother is. The doctor said she only had days to weeks to live again another shock,I never told my mum that as she would of worried and get so scared so I kept that from her,a day later the hospital called at night to say she had taken a turn for the worse and to come in and be with her,my heart broke seeing her like that,she was asleep but was breathing and hour later she just took a long breath and stopped. My mum was everything to me,I was with her 24/7 as her carer and daughter,I’ve never been without her in my whole 39yrs,now I’m a broken mess,I miss her so much and I just don’t think I can go on without her,she was my everything. I know she had to go because her body couldn’t continue but the selfish side of me still wants her here,if I could of swapped places and taken her pain and illness I would have. Life will never be the same without her as a part of me died with her .
Hello @Cheryl85 ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Abi
Hi Cheryl85
Im so sorry for your loss.Losing your mum i know is so painful.I felt exactly the same as you when i lost my mum.Id do anything to have my mum back.I was 33 at the time it was over 3 and a half years ago now.My world ended when she passed.It is so physically and emotionally painful especially as its only just happened for you.I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but things will get a little easier as time goes on.Everything wont feel so raw and surreal.Just try to take it one day at a time or even one hour at a time and know whatever you are feeling right now and in the future is normal.
Take care and welcome to the community.People are always here to listen,you are not alone.